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giorno-plays-piano · 4 years ago

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Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Dabi x villain!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, non-con, stalking, mentions of human experimentation, non-consensual drug use, lots of swearing.

Words: 1841.

Summary: Running away from the lab where you had been experimented on for years, you have no choice but to join the League of Villains to escape from the government. Of course, you don’t expect things to go smoothly, especially when one mutilated son of a bitch just can’t leave you alone.

P.S. I’ve suddenly remembered Rogue who had been my favorite character once; the heroine’s Quirk is partly based on her ability.

My dear @navegandoaciegas, this is my first attempt at writing Dabi. Hope you’re going to enjoy reading it ❤

_________________

"Fuck, how much can you drink at once, birdie? Ain't you scared to pass out in a place full of men?"

Oh God, it was that smug bastard again. For the past couple of days Dabi couldn't get off your back for a full damn minute.

"Men? Here?" You opened your eyes and raised an eyebrow at the man whose face was right above yours as he leaned on the back of the couch where you laid. "I see just a couple of kids and one burnt corpse who can never fucking shut up."

"Oh? Wanna see how well can a burnt corpse fuck you up?"

Always up to a challenge. You rolled your eyes at his obvious display of hostility despite the fact he'd most definitely lose against you. Besides, Shigaraki would barely enjoy you two ruining the League's hideout, and upsetting that asshole ready to go berserk any moment certainly wasn't one of your priorities.

"Just go fuck yourself, would you? I'm not in the mood to bark at you."

"Well, then don't. I didn’t come here for that, actually."

This was something new. He suddenly became calm as you studied his grotesque mutilated face inches away from yours. Your expression didn’t betray any emotions either since you weren't shocked or disgusted by the way Dabi looked: you've seen worse in the laboratory, and repulsive things had long stopped looking repulsive to you.

"What are you here for, then?" You asked him, trying to remember if you finished that second bottle of sake or not. Since the time you accidentally got one of those useless Quirks, you couldn't get drunk anymore - now strong alcohol only made you sleepy.

"I've always wanted to ask why the fuck are you wearing these." Dabi pointed out to the black leather gloves laying on the coffee table in front of you, and you rolled your eyes again. One more useless question.

"In this team of no-brainers you're the last person I expected to ask me this question." Groaning, you moved up a little to take more comfortable position and stared at the man above you intensely.

"Don't you want to gather as many Quirks as possible? If so, why wearing gloves when you can only get a Quirk through touch?"

You were close to snapping at him, and it certainly made Dabi look even more smug.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, a garbage bin?" You barked wishing you could teleport the bastard somewhere to Hawaii. "I only take Quirks I need, and it isn't easy to find those in that damp of useless abilities regular citizens have. Besides, some Quirks are quite dangerous for their owners and I'd prefer them not existing at all. You, of all people, should already get that, Pretty Face."

He smiled at you, but you saw his hollow eyes sparkling dangerously at your last remark, and you felt his body emanating heat he could turn into his famous blue flames within a second. Nasty shit, that what's you thought of his Quirk. Who on Earth would want anything like that? You doubted anyone but a true psychopath could really appreciate something as fucked up as Dabi's ability to burn anything and anyone, himself including. You definitely didn't want to use his Quirk despite already taking it as almost all of those belonging to the League of Villains. It wasn't intentional, though.

"You'd better start watching your mouth, birdie. You ain't back in the lab." His smile grew wider as he saw your expression darkening at the mention of the lab.

Fucking son of a bitch. You bet he'd go insane during the first month being locked up there.

"Huh, calm down, dear. I think it's better we get along."

You sent him a glare wishing you could throw his overconfident ass out of the window. Dabi loved messing with fucking everyone, Shigaraki included, but he was still a valuable member of the team. Killing him would do you no good.

Showing him your middle finger, you put your head on the pillow and took the half-empty bottle of sake. Thank goodness you didn't finish it. You hoped Dabi would vanish by the time you were done.

You spent a few minutes in complete silence as the man kept leaning on the couch and watching you drinking while you did your best trying to relax. Why the Hell was Dabi stuck here with you? Didn't he have any other things he should be doing now? Was he here to get under your skin even more? Shit, you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted it since the time they brought you to the lab, but since then somebody had always been getting on your nerves one way or the other.

"Seriously, what do you want from me?" You grunted as you opened your eyes again and stared at Dabi's face. "You wanna take the couch or what? I ran out of sake if you're here for it."

There was that smug smile again. Saints, the guy had been creeping you out with his long intense stares for quite some time, but today he was even less bearable than usual. He definitely wanted something from you, and the feeling was making you uneasy.

"You wanna hook up, birdie?"

You thought you were gonna choke on air when you heard him saying that. What? Seriously? Did he hurt his head so bad last time heroes attacked? So, that was the meaning of those stares, then? He thought you were the one he could stick his dick in. Wincing from the thought like from a toothache, you squeezed your eyes shut. The guy was clearly mad.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to hook up with anyone?" You huffed with irritation and realized Dabi was having way more fun than you.

"Don't tell me you're actually a virgin."

"You think I can be a virgin with the life I'm having?" You sounded more bitter than you thought you would, and the man above you chuckled. He was getting on your nerves more and more with each passing second.

"Then why not? Sex is a good way to relax. You certainly seem like you could let off some steam." You flinched when Dabi extended his hand to you, but he had only brushed of a lock of your hair out of your face. "I bet I can help you with that better than most of the team."

"Sex is painful, and I don't like pain. Go have fun with Toga, she seems more into that than me." You narrowed your eyes at him, your hand almost touching his neck if the villain decided he'd go further without your consent. His stupid grin going wider was making you more and more mad.

Of course, he wouldn't go to Himiko. That asshole had his own type, and she certainly didn't fall into that category. Why did you? You had no idea, but you doubted he would ever lay his hands on you. Yeah, you knew what sex was, and it had nothing to do with pleasure like in those stupid romantic novels you once bought. It was humiliating and painful. If you had a chance to get back to those who did it to you back in the lab, you'd rip their hearts out of their rib cages.

The expression on your face didn't seem to faze Dabi even the slightest bit, and you rolled your eyes in irritation. Apparently, he wouldn't give up unless you showed him you weren't some doll he could play with, and Shigaraki was probably going to get real mad at the both of you this evening.

All of a sudden you felt some strange tickling in your muscles you had never felt before. What was that? Confused, you quickly glanced over the room to see no one except Dabi still on his spot. What was that? Was it some hero's work? Had they found your hideout? No, it couldn’t be. You'd hear them, feel them before somebody even set their foot on your territory. It wasn't a hero.

Unwilling to wait for any surprises to happen, you used a regeneration Quirk, the one you were gifted on your 14th birthday so you could heal yourself after they ran the tests without troubling a healer too much. Strangely, the Quirk did nothing about the tickling, and you felt your legs getting weaker. What the fuck was that?

As you raised your head to ask Dabi for help, you suddenly realized he was eager to see what you were doing. He looked like he enjoyed watching you in such state, confused and even frightened, your knees slightly trembling as if you became weak within a couple of seconds.

It was him. He did something to you. The bastard had the nerve to do something to your body so it'd be easier to handle you.

"What have you done?" You hissed at him while he chuckled, pointing at the bottles of sake on the table. "Have you poisoned my drink?"

But the regeneration would work in that case. You knew for sure.

Running his finger around the shell of your ear, Dabi hummed with content, "Poisoned? Come on, who do you think I am, an Evil Queen? That's just a little handy potion that has a tendency to slowly accumulate in your body. Makes you a little softer, don't you think?"

Oh. Oh. That's why he was always watching you. He had no idea when the effects would start to show. Did he fucking realize it could happen in the heat of the battle when you needed your Quirks the most? Did Dabi have any idea what would happen if heroes managed to lock you away again?

"Seems like you planned to abandon me if heroes attacked, didn't you?" You gritted your teeth when Dabi got on top of you, his hands on your chest as he caressed your body like a lover would, his hot fingers getting under your clothes.

"Of course not. I'd play your personal hero and save your stubborn ass the trouble of murdering everyone."

While you desperately wanted to kick him off you came to realization you weren't able to even stand up, your arms and legs so weak you could barely move while Dabi had no problems stripping you out of your clothes, his hands on the your thighs as he took off your pants.

Shit, shit, shit. You couldn’t use any Quirks to hurt him, all of them barely responding to your call. What was that potion? Why nobody in the lab prepared you for this? How on Earth did that shithead obtain such a dangerous thing?

"If you hurt me, I'll rip your brain out of your skull and bring it to Shigaraki as a present."

His chapped, disfigured lips brushed against your neck almost gently when the man murmured, "It doesn't have to be painful, birdie. I'll show you how much fun we can have together."

___________________

Tags: @coolio-love @awesomerextyphoon

#dabi x reader #dabi #dabi bnha #bnha #mha #yandere

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wreckofawriter · 4 years ago

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Drunken Kisses

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Alochal use, swears like twice

Request: @justsomeficsyo hey my love, I hope you're doing well with lockdown! Could I request number 46 with Draco? If not use it for any other character (if you're sick of writing for him), I always love ur writing! ❤️❤️

46- you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

A/n: not gonna cap, kinda feel like this is shit but oh well. Idek what to say, I'm pretty sure I'm in a slump rn, my last two fics have been actual garbage. I hope you guys like it better than I do.

The quidditch world cup was something you had been wanting to go to for ages. You went to one when you were fourteen but it didn’t end well and since then all you had been wanting to do was go to one where you wouldn’t be almost burnt alive. You loved the sport, you played it for your own school and made a decent beater, since you graduated and stopped playing your thirst for the game grew. You finally decided after your second year of college you would go. You rounded up a bunch of your friends and apparated to the stadium. It had been built the year before, brand new everything, you were thrilled.

You and your friends all have the same intention when going to the game and that was to watch quidditch and get completely smashed. You were going into your third year of college the next year which meant you would have to buckle down and work so this was about it for the year. You were dressed in red and black clothes that showed too much, one of your favorite teams, the Buglrians was back in the cup thanks to their far too attractive seeker; Viktor Krum. You and four others piled into your tent where Gabby and Annabeth had already started drinking. You laughed at them claiming you weren’t going to start till five and they booed mixing up a margarita with too much vodka.

By the time the match started, you were two drinks in and Gabby was nearly blackout drunk. Annabeth had already passed out. You tried to wake her up before sighing and tucking the covers up to her chin. You made your way through the crowds of people, you and the three girls you were with all should have been wearing more than you were but none of you gave areally cared. Alex had the word ‘Krum’ painted across her stomach and you and Ruby both had black and red handprints covering your legs and arms. You were all covered in glitter and glow sticks which were enchanted to circle around your frame.

Some Holyhead Harpie fans booed as you walked past and you flipped them off while Gabby shouted, “You’re just mad you're gonna lose!”

You got to the stands pushing your way through a few people and climbing way too many stairs until you were in the center of the piled seats, You stood at the railing as Alex passed you a beer. You made small talk until the announcer came on introducing the teams. You all screamed like crazy when the Bulgarians flew into the field, Krum did a handstand on his broom whipping past and Ruby mumbled, “God he’s hot” Next to you.

The game was amazing. You were getting progressively louder as it went on. 40 points Harpy’s, 20 Bulgaria, then 60 Harpy’s, 70 Bulgaria. Until finally, as the game progressed Krum came dive-bombing out of the sky streaking after a flash of gold. He caught it moments before pulling upwards holding it in his fist. You were elated.

The four of you headed back towards your tent, Gabby was giggling about something you couldn’t make sense of as when suddenly a guy around your age popped out of his tent holding a pack of beers.

“Blaise?” Ruby asked in disbelief. The name rung a distant bell.

He turned towards you, “Holy shit Ruby?”

She laughed walking over to him, you followed a bit confused, your mind hazy with alcohol.

They talked for a second before she turned to introduce you. You smiled and shook his hand and suddenly it struck you, “Oh! You’re the guy she had a major crush on in high school.”

Your eyes widened as you slapped your hand over your mouth Alex burst out laughing.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, “Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

The man brushed it off with a wave of his hand, “You guys should head over with me, a bunch of us have a bonfire going and I think someone brought a keg.”

“Then why are you carrying a six-pack of beer?” Alex asked.

“Because their stuff probably tastes like shit.” He shrugged, “Are you guys coming?”

Ruby glanced back at you and you shrugged, “Why not?”

You followed Blaise about a quarter-mile from your tent to where a massive fire was raging. There must have been thirty college kids in the area, filling picnic tables and dancing on the grass. Someone had brought two kegs actually and it was apparent that a good chunk of them were hammered. It was dead silent until you stepped into a small glowing ring and suddenly the music was so loud you had to shout to hear anything.

The smell of burning wood, weed, and beer was thick as yelling and laughter could be heard above the pop song which blared overhead. You laughed turning to see that Alex was already making her way towards one of the kegs. You followed her getting booed by a group of people sitting at a picnic table who were adorned in green and yellow.

“You’re the ones who lost!” Alex shouted from over your shoulder handing you a blue cup. Blaise was right, the beer tasted like shit.

Draco watched as Blaise returned with four girls in tow. He sighed, rolling his eyes, not at all surprised by the new additions. All four were in black and red and were smiling widely. He snickered watching as one stumbled over nothing before finding her way to a picnic table. When his eyes landed on you they widened, your hair was messy and swiped back from your face, your cheeks flushed the shorts you were wearing left little to the imagination and the t-shirt was hugging your curves. You were stunning. His mouth went dry as his gaze followed you toward a keg, you laughed as one of your friends said something he couldn’t make out. Your smile was mesmerizing.

Draco was broken from his trance when Blaise coupled with one of the girls from before sat in front of him blocking his view.

“Draco, you remember Ruby right?” he spoke gesturing towards the girl.

“Totally.” He lied, “Good to see you.” he craned his neck to the side attempting to catch a glimpse of you again.

Blaise raised an eyebrow, “Watcha looking for?” he asked, turning around too.

“Nothing.” Draco shrugged, finding you sitting on the grass with the girl from before.

“See a hot girl?” Ruby joked, smirking following his gaze, “That’s y/n by the way.”

Draco felt his cheeks go hot, “I’m sorry who’s y/n?”

“Who do you think?” She laughed, “The one you’re staring at, I’m not blind.”

“Which one is y/n again?” Blaise questioned, “Redhead or y/h/c?”

“Y/h/c.” Ruby responded, “She’s single you know.” she wiggled her eyebrows, “Very single.”

“Well, that’s convenient.” Baise mussed, “So is Draco”

He rolled his eyes at their smirks and took a beer from the pack his friend had brought. His eyes wandered back to you as Ruby and Blaise’s conversation left without him. You were laying on your back now laughing hysterically as your friend tried to drink lying down, spilling beer down her front. You lifted out your wand to clean it before leaning over and whispering something into her ear. You waved it twice at the fire and suddenly it flickered deep black and red flames.

“Bulgaria!” You and your friend shouted as Ruby turned around laughing. A few words from Harpy fans had the fire turned back to its original color.

“Y/n! Alex!” Ruby called beckoning you towards them with a hand.

You stumbled to your feet, white tennis shoes smudged with grass, “What’s up?” You giggled walking around the table and seating yourself next to Draco, Alex slumped on your other side.

“Not much we were-” She was cut off when the song suddenly changed.

You squealed, leaping to your feet and hitting your bare knees on the hardwood, you didn’t seem to notice. You snatched Alex’s hand dragging her to her feet as well. You blurted out lyrics off-key as you climbed onto the table, glow sticks hovering around you as you swayed your hips to the music. You twirled on the tips of your shoes bringing your beer to your lips as a microphone

Cheers and whistles from nearby people only encouraged you as you continued to drunkenly dance on the table “My loneliness is killing me, I must confess I still believe.” You drew out each word. Feet tapping along with the beat as Alex jumps up with you grabbing your hands. You sang together as Ruby howled with laughter beneath you.

Your feet caught suddenly and you tumbled backward with scream you knocked directly into Draco’s’s chest knocking him from his seat and onto the grass with a thump. Draco groaned, opening his eyes and feeling his cheeks flush. You were laying on top of him, your hands holding you up as your face hovered just over his.

Your eyes were wide as you traced the man’s features. His shimmering blond hair, deep red cheeks, sharp jawline, and icy blue eyes. Your heart sped in your chest as your gaze flicked down to his pink lips which were parted slightly.

“You’re so pretty.” You mumbled and Draco felt his breath leave his lungs.

“I should be saying that to you.” He countered shakily.

You giggled, staring for a moment too long, “I should probably stand up.”

He nodded slowly, “Yeah.”

You got to your feet, Draco doing the same, both of you were bright red as you turned back to the group, Blaise winked at him and he rolled his eyes.

The conversation continued and you slowly began to inch towards Draco craving his warmth, he smelt of expensive college and mint, it was intoxicating. The blonde almost jumped when he felt you lean onto him, your hand resting on his thigh. You laid your head onto his shoulder and Draco found himself resisting the urge to lean back into you.

As the party began to dwindle Ruby decided that you should probably head back to your tent when Alex passed out on the table.

“Where’s Gabby?” She asked glancing around to see her sitting with a group of girls you didn’t recognize. You pouted as she attempted to haul you to your feet.

“Y/n, we have to go.” She mumbled as you clung to Draco’s arm. He looked stunned.

“No!” You whined, “I don’t want to go!”

“God, you’re like a toddler when your drunk.” She huffed pinching the bridge of her nose.

Finally, you got to your feet, stumbling and falling almost immediately. Draco stood to help you when he offered you a hand you took it but when he pulled you toward him you used that momentum to smash yourself onto his lips.

You stood on your toes ramming your tongue into his mouth your eyes closed as you pulled him towards you. Draco kissed you back for just a second before pushing you away.

Ruby stared at the scene her jaw dropped.

“Why’d you pull away?” You pouted up at him, your hands fiddling with his shirt.

“Because you are crazy drunk.” He responded hardly able to make out the sentence.

“Fine. I'll kiss you when I’m not drunk.” You declared turning to Ruby, “Do you have a pen?”

She shook her head.

You groaned snatching your wand from your pocket and shouting, “Accio pen!” about a dozen rushed at you. You snatched one turning to Draco and grabbing his hand, pulling up his shirt. You began to write on his forearm, the cap of the pen lodged between your lips.

You pulled away, your phone number scrawled onto his skin, “You better call me.” You mumbled turning on your heels to follow your friends.

Ruby snorted “You are going to regret so much of what just happened tomorrow morning.”

Taglist:

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

@sleepingalaska

@chloe-geoghegan1

Masterlist

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter ships #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy imagine #draco x oc #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy

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dianapocalypse · 3 years ago

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Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

#mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #no one's gonna listen to this #but i need the world to know it exists #it took me as long as the playlist is to put this together

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larsisfrommars · 3 years ago

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Campaign 2 Rewatch: The Midnight Chase

Fantastic start! Jester has no spells lmao! Gooooood… ROLL INITIATIVE 🤩

Yo, I know I made a post about this already buuuut I love Fjord & Caleb’s dynamic just saying, LETS PUNCH SOME ZOMBIES!!! Travis being a Hamilfan brings me so much joy. Guess what Laura! The Cantata Pansophical has you covered in regards to your characters being n Hamilton lol!

Dayuuuuum Molly that was badass! If only we could’ve seen you at higher levels hot damn! Tear em up Sam! Tear em up! God I miss Fury of The Small! Sacred Flame! Hell yeah! “Frumpikin, frumpy, lumpy come here!” I love you Jester lmao. Nobody’s used to Fjord’s cowboy accent yet lmao. Man Marisha is so competent with Beau now it’s weird watching her figuring it out.

Is this one of the first (and maybe only?) time Frumpkin is actually on the battlefield? 🤔 lol “I knew that would come back to bite you in the anus!” Oh wow this is before the snitch got stole.

Molly KOs (first KO of the campaign!) @ 31:14 by a zombie (high key it’s actually wild to me he was the first to drop considering everything that happens later??? So many c i n e m a t i c p a r a l e l l s) having failed one death save, Molly comes back around at 43:18 by natural forces with a Spare The Dying assist from Jester!

“I AM THE CLERIC?!” Jester is fuckinh iconic. “I am a very wise person 😊” *lifts entire guard body* lmao. Fjord being in awe of everyone’s magic continues to be adorable! I love Caleb’s little shrug when Nott asks if they’re going with the group lmao. “Horses are the new door”? oh gawd M9 wait until you hear about CHAIRS 😂

OH MY GOD Nott is such a doting mother lmao, oh you want those books? Here! 10 gold! And Caleb is just like 🤩😍 they’re so effing cute good lord. “Ohhhhh… I am so happy” *swoops Nott up in his arms with joy over books* YOUR HONOR I LOVE HIMMM

Fucking echo vibes of vex and Vax from that book interaction awwww. Liam having to break character cuz his friends are ridiculous like “please god I need to actually read this.” 🤣 Ohhhh god here come the Fjord is a Seaman jokes. I’m glad those don’t stay forever 😂🙄

God I forgot what a massive deal mustering spell components used to be, so much drama over turning Frumpkin into a bird 😂. God here we go with the harassing Caleb while he’s tuned out for Frumpkin recon. Poor dude is just tired lol. They’ll grow on you Caleb I promise! Awwwww Jester braiding Caleb’s hairrrrr

Fjord being Impressed by Magic part #103837364648, “oh man! I’ve been concentrating on skinky doodles all day!” JESTER I LOVE YOU SO GODDAMN MUCH. “Do you have positions at the circus for these two?” Love you too Caleb <3

“BECAUSE IM WEIRD!” I miss Molly and Beau so goddamn much so so so much. The more I watch them the more I’m like “wow no wonder Molly had such a massive impact on her.” Like, woah.

I love watching Fjord flex his deception/persuasion/intimidation the way Travis expresses it is so damn GOOD. That old man ploy is fantastic, love it. “Ugh this sprained ankle is affecting my wisdom” please 😂 “dungeons and dragons is about punishment” asdfghklgllgjhjjlkl

The birth of Narrative Telephone! Lol “something about being deflowered.” God the witch hut thing lmao “I’ve god rules for this shit in a book!” 😈 kinda weird considering the Hag they encounter later :) it’s so weird how the dots don’t stop connecting!

Yikes! Time for Beau to start punching children! Hooray? Such a GRAND departure from Keyleth (/j). Hoooo boy big fight big fight big fiiiiiight!! Marisha is allowed to be a little salty, as a treat, lmao. WOO! First Hexblade’s curse! Yeehaw!

Goddamn I love how scary vicious Nott becomes when her boy is in danger! Get it Nott! “I got a spell save DC y’all!” Love it! 😂

Caleb KOs at 3:16:32 by an imp, two successful death saves, one failed, and is resuscitated at 3:40:13 with a nat 20 medicine check from Nott as she gives him mouth to mouth. Goblin mama saves her garbage Wizard son heck yeah!

FJORD gets the SECOND (big) HDYWTDT of the campaign!

Only to have an imp KO Fjord at 3:30:16 one failed death save, and is resucitated at 3:39:53 thanks to a cure wounds from Jester. I loved the simultaneous “Fjord!” from Molly & Jester. Them Tieflings loves their half-orc hyperfixation. Come to think of it, they’re the ones rescuing him in the troll fight too!

Poor Caleb and Fjord only knowing confusion and suffering when they’re brought back lmao. Hooray nobody died!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #c2e3 #Crit role rewatch #cr2ko: 3 #Lars watches CR

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kylorengarbagedump · 5 years ago

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Little Bird: Chapter 27 (NSFW)

Read on AO3. Part 26 here. Part 28 here.

Summary: You were having such a good time before you were reminded of what you needed to be doing for the Resistance.

Words: 5000

Warnings: glove kink

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: >tfw you have your husband wear the shoes of your other husband bc you're a slut for a silver-tipped boot

Hello! I just wanted to say I was kind of blown away by the feedback I got for last chapter? Thank you guys so much? If you're unaware, my life has been sort of crazy, lately--if you google Kylo Ren, an article about Fix Your Attitude is currently the first result, haha.

I've deeply appreciated all the support, engagement, and love I've received for my writing. This fic is the apple of my eye, and being lucky enough to have people connect with it and enjoy it is truly THE gift for any writer, at all. I can't thank y'all enough, some of whom have been reading the garbage I crank out for like, 4 years. It's absolutely humbling and baffling, to me.Anyway, enough of my rambling.

Hope you enjoyed the fucking, because, to quote my true love, we're not done yet.

The sun had set. The party had begun hours ago.

You’d remained upstairs during the opening service, the three-course meal, folding and flipping the hem on your dress. The fabric was slippery, soft, a cold creek on your skin--refreshing, liquid relief, filling your lungs with air that had never known enslavement. It was enough to trick you for seconds into thinking that you could slink down the steps without hesitation, find your Commander’s eyes in the crowd, and sidle up to him. Like his partner.

But the lightless loneliness of your room crushed that dream.

A knock on the door, a hammerfist. “The Commander requests you.”

You blushed--your cheeks were tight. “All right.”

Greeting the Knight at your door, you followed him into the hall, down the steps. He didn’t even pay you a second glance, but you’d kept your bonnet and your boots, not brave enough yet to let your hair hang free in front of anyone but Kylo Ren. Descending into the home, the tinkle of piano keys floated through your ears, joined by the babbling of strangers. The reality of it smacked you--you were about to reveal yourself to a crowd in a champagne-pink gown, with your wrists peeking out and your ankles kissed by chiffon. Your heart thumped--thank God you weren’t in space, or you might have confused the heavy pain with an alien ready to burst through your chest.

Following dinner, light in the home was supplied only by strategic white candles placed on hall tables; you felt like a concubine, being led through a castle passage to the king, scurrying with your black-clad escort aided only by tiny flames. He guided you to the piano room, stopping at the threshold, but you were frozen. Just beyond the Knight you spied a few dozen people congregated together, some chatting, a few couples dancing to the music. You couldn’t stand the thought of moving, of entering that room as if you belonged.

But you were a survivor. You did belong. After all, this was Ren’s idea--not yours.

You swallowed, stuck your chin out, the click of your boots resonating up your calves as you crossed into the piano room. At first, you were invisible, an observer--you spied Armitage and Dolpheld chatting with an older, silver-haired man. The rest were faces you didn’t recognize, except for two: Finn and Rey, swaying in rhythm, murmuring to each other under the melody. And then, at the back of the room, almost hidden by the crowd, you glimpsed him--your Commander, staring off into the wall while Johana, serene and smitten, guided him through a reluctant waltz. Something speared your gut. No dress in the world would afford you the ability to earn the space she occupied.

So strange you could envy her position under a man who was the very enforcer of your conflict.

The first people to spot you were Rey and Finn, pausing in confusion as they reconciled your appearance with their knowledge of your role. The next couple noticed them noticing you--and it spread. As if in a recording, each new person glimpsed you and stopped, a slow-pause of shock rippling from the epicenter of your dress. The final pairs of eyes belonged to Johana and Kylo Ren, their gazes searing you simultaneously. Her expression collapsed to something strange, muscles twitching with disbelief, a wave of horror spilling over her face. She blinked, an apparent impulse to tear herself away, but despite it, kept staring.

It was then that finally, crowd parted, you saw him--and the ground opened, a pit of lust swallowing you whole.

Commander Kylo Ren, in leather gloves, tugged at his sleeve, a black velvet jacket cut tight to his frame, open to a brocade waistcoat. A shift of his feet, wrapped in pointed, silver-toed boots, a tapered end to the trousers that were slim against his long, powerful legs. At his breast pocket, a sterling chain hung loose from his lapel, glinting in the candlelight, highlighting the absence of a tie. And his hair, full and thick, brushed his shoulders in raven waves, the crown swept into a loose, soft bun at the back of his head. He captured you in his gaze, paralyzing you, desire dripping from his eyes.

Despite being fully concealed, you’d never felt more naked, more exposed. And you’d never wanted a man more than you wanted him, in this moment, in your entire life.

The tension in the room ballooned, every person looking between you and Ren, and Johana squeezed her husband’s hands.

“So!” The insincerity of her smile bled through her teeth. “I suppose the Commander would like to make his announcement… regarding, uh…” She blinked. “This, uh…”

“The existence of Handmaids is an unfortunate necessity.” Ren’s gaze traveled over you in millimeters, cementing your image to his mind. “Recent rashes of disappearances and suicides threaten this necessity. Experimenting with small allowances--increasing satisfaction with Gilead--may provide us with greater compliance.” His lids fell in a slow blink, his stare met yours again; the glittering ache inside it failed to match his words. “And who better to advise me in this venture than a Handmaid herself.”

“Yes, that’s right.” Johana patted Ren’s hand, like she’d been part of the plan all along. Her attention kept dancing over the details of your dress, as if there was something familiar there. “It’s important that our Handmaid feels loved in our home. A part of our family. We’re so proud of what she’ll be helping to bring other Handmaids in Gilead.” She grinned at you, opening her arm, inviting you into this new family portrait. “Isn’t that right, Ofkylo?”

Every gaze in the room rested on you. You looked to Ren, then to her. “Yes, it is.” Nodding, you crossed the room, face hot as you allowed her to coil an arm around your shoulders and squeeze you just slightly too tight. The guests gawked, murmuring between themselves as Johana’s nails dug like talons into your flesh.

“He’s really so brilliant,” Johana said, gazing up at her husband. He was impassive. “That reminds me!”

She shoved you off, and you stumbled forward into the crowd, catching the twitch of concern under Ren’s lid. Affection and excitement tickled your skin, a buzz at the back of your brain. Being acknowledged as his advisor to the public was somehow thrilling, despite it marking you as complicit in Gilead’s clutches. It wasn’t the position--you had no intention of advising him--more so that for a moment, in his eyes, you’d been someone. You clung like a leech to these hints of his affection, of his acknowledgement of your personhood.

An arm tugged you around, a whisper in your ear. “Meet us in the downstairs washroom in twenty minutes.” Rey’s voice.

You cleared your throat and nodded, disappearing further through the guests, toward the entrance, hoping to escape the attention that swarmed you. At some point, you’d need to find an opportunity to slip away.

“As many of you know, Commander Snoke’s Wife, Christine, is now a Widow.” Johana was ushering some of the Wives forward, their husbands watching them with suspicion. “Many of you also know how my late husband, Moden Canady, died in service of founding Gilead. What I found helpful…”

“Ren lets her talk far too much.” In front of you was the silver-haired man, leaning in to mutter to Armitage. “What’s this Handmaid nonsense he’s going on about?”

Armitage peered over his shoulder at you, annoyingly smug smirk plastered on his lips--you were beginning to wonder if it was a permanent fixture. “Ren’s young and inexperienced. He won’t be around for long. Neither will his plans.”

You frowned, crossing your arms. “One might think you’d be the one person supportive of his allowances for Handmaids.”

A flicker of fear crossed his face. “What?”

Johana clapped her hands. “So what I’ve devised is a prayer circle. Here’s how it will work…”

The crowd was shifting, gathering toward Johana, the bustle and music swallowing the cadence of her voice. Behind you, the Knight Templar stood at the threshold, a silent sentinel. Part of you wanted to continue sniping at Armitage. The other part realized that with murmurs of dissent already apparent, you couldn’t guarantee who the Knight was there to protect. ‘

Ren--or you?

You set your jaw, offering Armitage a brief curtsy.

“Excuse me.” The distraction created a serendipitous opportunity to escape. You went to pass the Knight, who blockaded your exit. “The washroom, sir.”

He glanced beyond you, and you followed his gaze. There, you saw your Commander, and heat rushed you again, a tangible longing that whirled like wildfire across the crowd, stoked the both of you, two flittering moths, in its flame. God, he looked incredible--you could devour him, like this, and you knew he’d stormed with that same need since he’d raked you over in your dress.

Ren nodded at his Knight, and the spell broke. Right. You were meeting with the Resistance. Shaking the hunger from your eyes, you realized he had stepped aside, allowing you to pass. With your head bowed, you shuffled into the hall, quick steps taking you to the washroom around the corner, and you escaped beyond the door.

Incandescent mirror lights gleamed on shiny subway tile, stark along the black accents in the floor trim and the polished clawfoot tub at the far wall. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, resting on the sleek ceramic sink, cheeks still glowing. The dress looked better on you under this lighting, the chiffon almost lustrous against your skin. No wonder Ren had been so entranced. The idea pressed your thighs together.

Focus. Thoughts flurried as you anticipated Rey and Finn’s arrival, what they’d want from you, what you’d say. It was true--you’d been a pitiable spy, so far. All you’d managed to do in your tenure for the Resistance was get fucked by and cum on your Commander’s cock (oh, and get bathed in blood and call him Daddy--you shuddered). Something told you that wasn’t the type of subversive action they’d been counting on. At the same time, you felt at a loss for what to do, regardless. He’d destroyed his information cache, and he’d spent the past couple of weeks recovering from injury.

It was frustrating, to feel more hope for your future with Kylo Ren than your future with the Resistance. You seemed perfectly capable urging him toward minor change, but when it came to taking action for the group that actually had your freedom in mind, you floundered, a hapless child.

The door opened, you spun--it’d only been about 30 seconds since you’d entered--and in slid your Commander, eyes trained on you while he locked it behind him. You blinked.

“Comman--”

Ren snatched your hips, spinning you over and shoving you onto the sink as his lips smothered yours. That flame from the piano room roared, drenched in the fuel of your connection, your skin flickering to life. Your fingers dove into his hair, wringing around his luscious waves, and he groaned, slipping his tongue into your mouth, a large hand coming to cup your head, to trap you there, the other coasting up and down your side.

Your legs spread for him, welcoming him, cunt already throbbing in anticipation. For a brief second, you pushed away, running your hands over his velvet chest, taking a moment to admire him, to soak in how absolutely fucking beautiful he looked. Ren did the same, seeming new, somehow, a reverent awe in his gaze, not just feral, but tormented, needing to have you in his arms. His lip twitched, and he kissed you again, jerking you closer, sucking in air through his nose while his tongue swirled over yours.

Whimpering, you caressed his shoulders, up his neck, finding his hair once more, fingers teasing the warm, hidden shell of his ears. At this, his back crested, and he moaned, pitching forward, nearly shoving you into the basin as he trembled.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “You’re fucking beautiful.” He flipped up your dress, warm leather smoothing over your skin. “I need to make you cum.”

A shiver shook you from the base of your spine, and you curled your legs around him, core clenching hard. Your hips rolled forward, seeking his touch, and he grazed your pussy over your underwear, thumb ghosting your clit through the fabric. You squeaked, and he silenced you with his mouth, tugging at the fabric until he’d fit his thick fingers under the hem. The spark of leather-on-skin earned a groan from your throat, and you combed through his hair, meeting the fervor of his kiss.

Ren peeled away, gasping, watching you as he slid a digit through your hot slit, his breath hitching. “So wet for me,” he murmured. “And all mine...” He dragged a slickened gloved finger over your clit, the sensation new and delicious--you quivered, biting your lip. “Only for me…”

You nodded, inching forward, the only articulate words escaping as please, please, please.

“I’ll make you cum here,” he said, “and I’ll make you cum again before the party’s over.” He leaned close, his middle and fourth finger teasing your entrance, lips hovering over your ear. “And by the end of the night, the only thing this pretty mouth will be able to say is my name.”

“Oh--” you began, and he plunged into you. “God!”

He snickered. “Wrong name.”

Ren crooked his fingers in your cunt, focused on your flushing face, the tempo of your intermittent gasps, his breath shallow as you clenched and pulsed around him. A leather thumb traced rapid little lines around your swollen clit, the seams tripping over the nub, and you snuffed a whimper in your chest, staring at him. He wet his lips, pressing his mouth to yours in a brief kiss as he snapped his wrist, curling and scissoring inside of you. His hips rocked with his rhythm, and you saw the outline of his impressive erection straining at his pants. Your hand burned to stroke it, to feel it.

Chewing your cheek, you reached for him, grasping at his trousers, unzipping them and tugging everything down his thighs, length springing free, smacking his clothed stomach. He barely seemed to notice, so lost in the heat of your cunt in his hand. You scooted closer and wrapped your fingers around his warm, heavy cock--he choked, jabbing you deep, forcing a quaky breath from your lungs. Swallowing, you tightened your fist and stroked him, watching him from half-lidded eyes.

He throbbed, twitched under your grip, blood biting his cheeks when you coated his head with the bead of his pre-cum, and his breath was uneven, tattered from the weight of lust--but so was yours. Ren circled your stiff nub, pumping his fingers into your pussy, and pleasure wracked you, pouring into your pulse like perfect poison--a feeling you should never have wanted, but would now die without.

“Christ,” you mumbled, “Commander--”

“We’re alone.”

“I’m your advisor now, though.” You managed a half-smirk. “If we’re caught--I wouldn’t want anyone thinking this was anything more than an official handjob.”

Ren tilted his head, something devilish and dark and amused in his gaze--and then he kissed you again, shoving his tongue past your teeth, canting his hips in pace with your hand. He was smooth and silky and so big--in the back of your head, you couldn’t believe you’d taken all of him--the memory had you clench and groan into him, and his cock throbbed in your palm. The air was humid, thick with sex, dizzying you, shooting static through your skin.

“Fuck,” he muttered against your mouth, “you’re so tight…”

You hummed in delight. “And you’re so hard…”

He eased back, meeting your eyes, both of you slowing to stop as something slammed you in succession, a chasm of greed opening between your bodies. A snap, an ignition--in one smooth movement, you’d released him while his fingers left your core and yanked your underwear to the side, cock thrusting into you with a sweet sting. Ren hissed in bliss, sheathing himself in your heat.

“Yes…” He grappled your hips, encasing them in leather, fucking into you, watching his dick disappear into your pussy. “This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” he muttered. “To be my little whore?”

You nodded, mouth dropped in ecstasy, head fighting not to fall back onto your shoulders. “Yes, Commander…”

“I knew it the moment I saw you in this dress, staring at me, pleading to get fucked.” Shuddering at his own words, he groaned, shifting closer, murmuring into your ear. “I want to fill this cunt up with my cum...” He strangled a moan in his throat, pounding you, pinning your hips against his. “I want it to drip down your legs when you walk out of this room…”

“Please...”

To your intoxicated mind, nothing sounded better than dripping with the cum of the most beautiful man on the planet. Desire had consumed you both, his pace embodying complete desperation, a frenzied, urgent need to bring you both to orgasm. Ren’s strokes were rough, painful, incredible, your breath catching up with your brain, the euphoric fullness of his cock ready to fling you to another plane. And then his gloved thumb slid over your clit, beating it in time with his thrusts--you cracked, crying out.

“Yes!”

“That’s right,” Ren growled, “that’s right--you’re mine, you’re mine...” He pressed his lips to yours, short and sharp. “I can cum inside you whenever I want. I can make you cum whenever I want...” He was slamming you deep, panting with every snap of his hips, your pussy hot and slick and pulsing with your oncoming climax. “Cum for me.” He kissed you again, mouth millimeters from yours. “Cum on my cock, little bird. Let me make you whole…”

Rapture numbed you, at the edge of your skin, a typhoon ready to wreck you witless. “Commander,” you whispered, “I’m--”

A knock on the door. Both of you froze, fear puncturing the pulsating swell of pleasure with a wheeze. Your skin crackled, oxygen returning to your blood, and you felt him seated inside you, throbbing at the base, a furious demand to cum. The denial of release snipped your nerves to stubs--and judging by the tension in his jaw, Ren was doing no better. He looked to you expectantly.

You swallowed, cleared the hunger from your throat. “Oc-occupied.”

“Oh.” It was Rey again. Dammit. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “We’ll wait for you out here!”

Ren raised a brow. In a way, it was good that in this moment, he was still half-hard, stuck inside you--he wouldn’t get to know who the members of the Resistance were that had dared to show to his installation celebration. You shifted away, but he gripped you, held you there, waiting for you to respond, his stare inspiring sweat at the back of your neck. Unfraid, you held his gaze. He’d said himself that your association with the Resistance didn’t concern him. Even though that had been before he’d taken over.

“Meet me by the annex stairs.” You took a long breath, clenching around the girth of his dick--but he was already slipping free. “There’s too much going on here.”

“Got it,” she said. “See you in five.”

After a silent, awkward moment had passed, Ren tugged you against him, stuffing his softening cock into you, and you squealed. “You’re still meeting with the Resistance.”

“I am.” You wouldn’t let your chin tremble. “I thought you weren’t concerned.”

He considered you, muscle fluttering under his eye. “I’m not,” he said. “You’re fortunate that I’ve spent too much time already away from my guests. Any other occasion would see me hanging them tomorrow.” Pushing off of the sink, he tucked himself away. “Another day, then.”

His brow drawn low, Ren ran his gloved hands underneath the water before wiping them clean. He said nothing, spearing you with a glare before he unlocked the door and stalked into the hall. A slow sigh escaped you, and you wrung the guilt from your heart. His small concessions hadn’t changed your position--he must have known that. So why did he have to seem so hurt?

And your body was still wondering why it hadn’t gotten the orgasm it had been wanting since you’d drank him in. You eased yourself onto the ground, wincing at how swollen your pussy still felt between your thighs, and shook it off, making your way to the stairs.

You found Finn and Rey, posted near the landing rails, and you snuck up to them, head on a swivel.

“I just scouted,” Finn said. “Ren’s in the piano room. We’re clear for the next few minutes.”

“Got it.” You blushed, realizing that they had no idea that just moments ago, he’d been in you. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” Rey said, a sly grin on her face. She gestured to your outfit. “What’s going here?”

A tornado in your mind, words you wanted to say: I can’t stop fucking my Commander. I think about him constantly. Together, we drew vines, and when he held my hand, I didn’t hate him. Since Gilead, I’m lost, but in his eyes, I feel found. He wants to own me. Sometimes I want that, too.

Instead, you said, “I’ve ingratiated myself. He thinks I’m so eager to change Gilead.” You snorted. “It’s a perfect opportunity to do whatever you guys need.”

“That’s great!” Rey said. “I knew you had it in you.”

You’d had something in you, all right. “Thanks,” you said. “It was… nothing.”

“There’s rumblings already in the lower ranks,” Finn said. “Some are thinking that Ren staged a coup and got the Knights to cover it up.”

For some reason, your heart sank.

“With how quickly he took over, the changes he plans to make…” He looked between you and Rey. “There’s heavy suspicion. But with Christine’s testimony, the lack of evidence, they can’t prove anything.” Now he stared at you. “You were there. Do you know what happened?”

More words at your tongue: We killed Commander Snoke together. He saved my life. I saved his. We fucked in the blood of Snoke’s men. The water ran red while Ren filled me with cum. The air was soaked with death. I’d never felt so alive.

But instead: “It’s like Christine says. A guard killed Snoke.”

It confused you when it left your mouth.

“Damn.” Rey frowned, crossing her arms, and glanced at Finn. “Do you think he set it up, somehow? Maybe he was working with the guard? There has to be some proof, somewhere that he orchestrated this. He couldn’t have done it alone.”

Just upstairs, in your room, you had the knife--the switchblade Ren had given you, still crusty with Snoke’s blood. It was physical proof that you’d been there, that you’d stabbed him, that you and Ren had lit the match together. You could, in this moment, hand it over, tell them the entire sordid story, begin your own journey toward emancipation. You could watch Ren crumble, and let him take Gilead down as he fell.

A simple choice. It should’ve been a simple choice.

Yet all you could remember was kneeling at Snoke’s feet, Ren’s gaze meeting yours, and the incontestable truth you’d felt there--that against any of the impossible odds in that home, he was choosing you. And that in that moment, for reasons you still couldn’t know or understand, you’d chosen him, too.

“I’ll see if I can find anything,” you said, knowing you wouldn’t even begin to look.

Poe’s words, you’re a survivor, floated through your mind. He was right--you were surviving. But maybe you didn’t really deserve to.

“Great.” Rey patted your shoulder in camaraderie. “This is tough work you’re doing.”

“But look where you’ve gotten yourself so far!” Finn made a motion along his body, as if he’d put on a dress, too. “You’re obviously doing something right. Just keep it up. You’ll crack it.”

You were doing something right, if that something was getting fucked by your Commander in the washroom during his own party celebrating his installation as the leader of a totalitarian government. You’d been doing a great job at that, actually, until the group meant to unshackle you from slavery interrupted you. A shame, that.

“We should get back to the party,” Rey said. “Being gone too long looks suspicious. You head in first. We’ll catch up in a bit.”

You nodded.

The sensitivity between your legs still needed time to disappear, but you were able to make your way back to the piano room without waddling. The piano’s autoplayer was now running through a raucous, jaunty tune--it sounded like Largo al factotum. Not that you were a music expert, but you’d learned enough to know that. Either way, you were thankful for the noise that muffled the sound of your boots as you breezed past the Knight Templar and back into the music room. You tried to weave your way through to crowd toward Ren--even with the Knight here, you felt like every pair of eyes had pinned a target to your back.

You found him in the corner of the room, far from the piano, in conversation (debate?) with Armitage. Johana was at his side, her arms crossed.

“There’s plenty of ways we could be utilizing these precious resources,” Armitage said. “You insist on wasting them on something as fickle as reconditioning.”

“Fickle.”

“Yes, fickle.” He scoffed. “When we already have a fully-trained infantry. What we should be focusing on is building our navy. The biggest threats come from--”

Ren flicked his wrist in dismissal. “The biggest threats come from the West coast,” he said. “California, in particular, has made overt threats toward the Republic of Gilead.”

The chatter of the crowd was dying as the two men traded barbs, focus being drawn to the little corner where you’d hoped to disappear. Largo al factotum entered its second chorus. You’d remained silent, but Johana still managed to spot you. Her gaze darted over your dress again, and she narrowed her eyes.

“What is your goal, then, Ren?” Armitage still looked smug, even in challenge. “England has already made threats to assist the West if we push forward with any sort of idiotic manifest destiny--”

“The goal is to sanctify the rest of the continent.” Ren regarded Armitage as if he were, by any measure, the dumbest person on Earth. “Reconditioning our forces will make it possible for us to expand our reach to the West coast. To crush any opposition.”

“Crush.” The lilt in Armitage’s voice didn’t make sense until you realized, in horror, his attention was on you. The melody soared. It was only after he’d noticed you that Ren finally turned to see you, too. “An interesting word to use, Ren.” He paused, making sure he had the attention of the other guests. The piano pounded a rapid repetition of notes. “What exactly are you crushing by giving yourself a second Wife?”

He’d said it loud enough that the back of the crowd could hear. The piano had paused, a full rest in the music. If you’d been wearing your Handmaid uniform, you imagined your face would have been redder than your dress. Ren’s nostrils flared. And the piano picked up without irony.

Johana shrugged, a tiny smirk on her face. “Don’t be silly, Commander Hux,” Johana said. “Of course, we love our Handmaid… but a Handmaid could never hope to be a Wife.” She looked to Ren. “They earn those positions, don’t they? By going against the Bible?” Now back to you. “Who, for heaven’s sake, would ever want to be married to someone like that?”

Your fingers trembled, and you glanced at your Commander. He hadn’t said a word, but hardly seemed passive. Instead, there was a hint of intrigue in his gaze. Curiosity. Observing you, waiting to see what you’d do. Another rest in the music. You took it as permission.

“Interesting assumption the both of you have made,” you said, a model advisor. “After all, I don’t believe most Handmaids are asking for marriage.” This time you met Armitage’s stare again. “Unless wearing a new dress means you secretly want a life partnership.”

He frowned, jaw tight. “So, will we all be afforded advisors, then, Ren?” he said. “Or is this how you reward yourself?”

“Why would a man who makes no decisions of value require an advisor?” Ren replied.

He raised a hand, beckoning you forward with two leather fingers. The memory of where those fingers had been just minutes ago made you shiver--you obeyed, taking a space next to him, opposite of Johana. Largo al factotum entered its third chorus. Her face trembled with scorn.

“Roles are essential, but not permanent. We see shifting all the time--Angels to Commanders, Econowives to Handmaids, Wives to Widows. A Handmaid as an advisor is no different.” He aimed an empty, solemn gaze at Armitage. You felt tall and safe and disgustingly special. “It should come as no surprise that roles can form by necessity.”

Armitage sneered. “You parade your necessity around like a prized pet.”

“No,” Ren replied. The final patter of piano sailed through the air. “I assumed that you’d have difficulty grasping a new concept. It appears I was correct.”

The concluding chords rumbled, and Johana pulled her lips in over her teeth in what you guessed was unexpected, reluctant amusement. Armitage said nothing, and the other guests muttered to each other--you couldn’t tell if it was in admiration or disdain.

“Further questions about my decision can be directed to me at the next Council meeting.” The auto-player began a sweeter, softer tune. This one you didn’t recognize. The mumbling in the crowd grew to full chatter, and Ren looked to the Knight at the entry. “Ruk. Escort her.”

Before you could move, Ren snatched your wrist, so quick and subtle you weren’t even sure Johana noticed. What she <did notice was him leaning to your ear, whispering over it like sable silk.

“I’m not done with you, yet. Wait in your room. Keep the dress on.”

It took every bit of strength you had to prevent your cheeks from glowing. “Yes, Commander.” You cleared your throat, nodding to him and Johana. “Goodnight.”

Her gaze followed you, studied your dress as crossed to the Knight, her arms folded, eyes shiny. The melody in the room rolled into a slow, flooding crescendo. And as you disappeared around the corner, she broke the stare and turned away, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

#kylo ren smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren #kylo trash #little bird #handmaid au #fanfiction problems #glove kink #god I love majima's shoes though #I can't help myself I had to make Ren look hot because I CAN

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maximumsnow · 4 years ago

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Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, HLVRAI - Fandom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta, Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Bubby (Half-Life), Benrey (Half-Life) Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical swearing, Basically an au exploring what if HLVRAI followed Half Life a little more closely, Au where there isn't a betrayal in that one spot, Mainly was wondering what would happen to the others if they hadn't been in on it., Some things change some don't, Oh also this is sort of intended as a not a game au

Summary: Anyone who knows original Half-Life knows that the ambush happens in that spot no matter what. What would have happened if the ambush was as rough for the others?

Chapter Summary: Gordon and Tommy found Bubby, but he doesn’t look like he’s doing well.

“Bubby?”

The figure stopped and squinted. “Gordon? Tommy?” He hunched over and tightened his grip on his torso as if the effort pained him, but the voice was unmistakable. “Took you long enough to find me,” he grumbled out slowly before leaning heavily against the wall.

It was Bubby. Missing his glasses and shoes and wearing a hospital gown, but he was alive, and in that moment Gordon would take whatever good news he could get. However, Bubby’s condition was concerning enough that both Tommy and Gordon quickly rushed over to him, their earlier wariness thrown away.

Gordon put a hand on Bubby’s shoulder and realized that he was also soaking wet. “Dude, you okay?”

“They took my damn pants, Gordon, do you think I’m okay?” Bubby snapped, but otherwise did not fight the contact.

“Mr. Freeman, he’s- There’s blood at his feet!” Tommy waved his free hand downwards.

Gordon looked down, and sure enough, there was a red spot left from where Bubby’s foot had shifted. “Holy shit, man. Why don’t you sit down?”

“We have to get away! There’s something in there killing the soldiers,” Bubby said in a surprisingly clear voice as he shook his head violently enough to make Gordon let go. Then regretting the motion as he hissed in pain. “They deserve it, but I’m not risking my life to find out what.” He struggled forward a step, and Gordon could see that Bubby left a bloody footprint.

“But what about Coomer? Is he in there too?”

That stopped Bubby’s efforts, and he looked down. “I don’t know. They hit me over the head, and then injected me with something. When I woke up, I was in my damn tube again and didn’t even have my clothes.”

The way Bubby talked about his tube made Gordon feel uneasy. Given that Bubby was literally a test tube human, the fact that it existed wasn’t surprising, but Bubby’s animosity about it did not sit well with him.

However, it did raise an immediate question. “Wait, how did you get out?”

“S-Something came in and slammed against the glass when those idiot boot boys left to deal with aliens.” The reminder seemed to spur Bubby into taking another step

“Something?”

“If I actually knew what the fuck it was, I would have specified, dumbass.”

Even though he wasn’t sure Bubby could actually see it, Gordon raised his hands in a surrender motion. “Sorry, had to ask.”

Bubby waved in a dismissive gesture as he tried to keep hobbling forward. “Whatever, we need to get going before it comes back.”

Tommy refused to budge even as Bubby bumped into him. “We just- We came from that way. We can’t leave from there.”

“Yeah, it’s the trash place,” Gordon confirmed.

“R-residue Processing.”

“What he said. Unless you want to go through garbage disposal, there’s nothing that way.” He saw Tommy give him a worried look, but he shook his head to keep them from going off topic.

That apparently gave Bubby pause. “… Well shit, there went my plan.”

"You said that, uh, thing slammed against the tube. How do you know that it's killing the soldiers?"

"I heard screaming and shooting when it went the same way they did. And considering the shooting stopped, and no one came back, I could make a guess." Gordon didn’t have to see Bubby’s face to know that he had rolled his eyes.

“It didn’t- but it didn’t stop to attack you? Before leaving?” Tommy asked.

“No, it cracked the glass before giving up. The tube didn’t break until a few minutes later.”

Honestly, Gordon did not want to find out what the hell was in there, but he and Tommy had checked every route possible on their way through Residue Processing, and if the door wasn’t busted, there was always some sort of hazard blocking it.

Navigating their way back wouldn’t be easy either. It was already treacherous with just Gordon being a hobbled mess; doing it with Bubby incapacitated too would be impossible.

Tommy broke the quiet that had settled across them. “We just- We have to keep moving. Are you- Do you need help, Dr. Bubby?”

Bubby’s face scrunched up in distaste, but after a painfully long minute, he finally said, “Can’t see a damn thing. Sure.”

“Hey wait, do you want some help with-” Gordon gestured towards the blood staining the ground, “-That first?”

Somehow managing to look at Gordon with a gaze that screamed, ‘Are you stupid,’ he asked, “With what?”

“You obviously stepped on something, and you’re bleeding! It’s probably glass given the tube thing!” Gordon’s voice notably went up in pitch as he explained.

“How would you- You’d need tweezers or something, Mr. Freeman. We can’t do that here.” Tommy wasn’t happy with that, but he was right.

“There’s a medkit ahead if I remember right. I think. I wouldn’t swear to it now,” Bubby rambled. Then as if catching himself, he snapped, “Now are you going to help me or not?”

“Alright, alright, fine. Here we go. I uh, don’t think I can carry you like this and Tommy needs to go first.” Gordon reached an arm under the one that Bubby wasn’t pressing against a wall and slowly maneuvered the scrawnier scientist to lean against him so that the injured foot wouldn’t bear much weight. He had never been more glad to be in the HEV suit if only so he didn’t get soaked due to being in contact with Bubby’s drenched form.

It also meant he could feel Bubby shivering.

He was distracted from asking about it by Bubby’s next question. “What do you mean, ‘like this?’”

Deciding they needed to get a move on, Gordon started walking as he explained. “Well, getting beaten to hell kinda makes my head and body scream at me, and I don’t want to drop you if that kicks in at a bad time. At least this way, you can let go before it becomes a problem.”

Tommy took the lead and opened the door leading to the tube room, and it was a mess. The giant tube that dominated the room had been shattered, and glass and some weird fluid covered the floor in front of it. Gordon didn’t have to shift to see the sneer planted on Bubby’s face and made the executive decision just pass through.

Until Bubby stopped them at the exit and went, “Wait, I think they left my glasses in the observation room. Let’s go get them.”

“I-I’ll get them, Dr. Bubby, just wait here,” Tommy volunteered. He passed by them quickly, and they could hear the crunch of glass when he got further in. The sound of an automatic door opening and closing told them that he was able to enter without a hitch.

For once, Gordon didn’t really have much to say as they waited. Bubby was not in the mood to humor any comments, and Gordon felt bad enough for the guy that he didn’t want to aggravate him on accident. Add onto the fact that they didn’t want to attract attention while they were vulnerable, and it made for a perfect cocktail of reasons to keep quiet.

It meant that they could hear something mechanical inside the tube moving.

Bubby’s head snapped up at the sound, and he started backing up. “Oh my god!” He couldn’t go far with Gordon’s arm keeping him in place, and he started to struggle against him.

“Woah dude, what’s-”

“We gotta get moving! Before it-”

CRACK

The sound was accompanied by a blinding flash of light and the smell of ozone.

Bubby’s knees gave out on him, and Gordon couldn’t keep his balance while suddenly trying to support all of their weight. They both dropped to the floor, but Gordon was able to keep himself from falling on top of Bubby. It didn’t mean he was any less winded, however. After gasping for a few breaths and reorienting himself, he turned his head to see how Bubby was.

Bubby was curled into a fetal position, and his shivering had turned into full body shaking.

“SHIT! Bubby? Bubby, talk to me!” Terrified that Bubby had been injured even more, Gordon tried to grab his shoulder.

Bubby tensed at the contact, and suddenly, Gordon’s hand felt intensely hot. He let go and tried to put out the sudden fire that tried to cover his glove.

It’s a good thing the HEV suit was fireproof, so that the flames had nothing to fuel them and died out. The sudden fire still freaked him out, even if the hazard training had already told him about the fire resistance.

“Mr. Freeman! Dr. Bubby! Are-are you okay? I didn’t- I didn’t mean to hit that button! I tripped and fell on it...” He didn’t notice Tommy rejoining them until Tommy spoke up.

“I-I’m fine, Tommy,” Gordon quickly reassured. “Bubby though… I dunno man, he just fell and won’t respond to me. I think he just set my hand on fire when I touched him?”

Gordon didn’t miss the way that Tommy’s eyes first glanced towards the exit hallway first before he knelt down beside them. Right, they still had to be careful…

“Dr. Bubby? It’s- It’s just Tommy and Mr. Freeman. Y-your friends?” Tommy spoke in a soothing tone. “Just take deep breaths, okay? Like this.” His breathing slowed down to a calming rhythm that Gordon recognized from when someone had to help him recover from panic attacks in college.

Bubby didn’t look up at them, but the thin hospital gown made it easy to see that he was trying to follow the instructions Tommy had given.

While Tommy continued to calm Bubby down, Gordon stood himself back up. He made sure his movements were purposeful and slow, not only for his own benefit, but to make sure he didn’t set Bubby off again.

Once he was upright, he appointed himself as guard and held his crowbar at the ready. The knowledge that he was a poor substitute for Tommy’s clear head and quick instincts in this state weighed heavily on him, but it was the best he could do in this situation. Crowding Bubby wouldn’t make things go any faster, and Tommy knew what he was doing.

He couldn’t help but be grateful for Tommy. He definitely owed the guy all the favors in the world. He could only hope that they would get out so that those favors could be cashed in.

As for Bubby… The fact that the tube came with an electrocuting function was horrifying in its implications, and Bubby’s reaction to that feature being turned on spoke volumes. God, he knew Black Mesa had some shady stuff going on, but this was sickening. Given that Bubby seemed to be in pain from more than a head wound and an injured foot, he wouldn’t be surprised if the electricity had been used on Bubby before the soldiers had been distracted.

That thought burned white hot, and while he would be useless in a fight at the moment, he almost wished a soldier would appear at the end of the hallway. He gripped his crowbar tightly; it would be satisfying to bring it down on one of those damn military goons.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there before Tommy finally called his attention back to them. “Mr. Freeman! He’s… We can go now. Just help him walk, okay?” Tommy had already pulled Bubby to a standing position and let him lean against him, and Gordon noticed there was a pair of glasses sitting on Bubby’s face. Oh good, Tommy found them. The endeavor leading into that accident hadn’t been for nothing.

Gordon nodded and switched places with Tommy with relative ease. It was concerning, to say the least, that Bubby wasn’t more vocal, but given everything that just happened, he didn’t want to try forcing a conversation.

God, Bubby looked so tired. He wished they could properly stop and rest, for all of their sakes, but stopping now was out of the question.

The hallway was eerily quiet, as was the next room. The cage full of dead headcrabs did nothing to alleviate the tension, but as soon as they passed by it, Bubby spoke up. “There should be a medkit in here. There’s one in most of the specimen rooms.”

The observation room in here held what they were looking for, and while Tommy took out the sparse medical supplies, Gordon did his best to help Bubby to the floor.

Until Bubby protested, “I’m not decrepit yet. I can get down!”

Not wanting another fire incident, Gordon backed off, even as Bubby made a loud THUMP when he landed on the floor. “I’m fine!”

At least some of Bubby’s figurative fire was returning.

There wasn’t a lot of room, but Gordon and Tommy ducked below the window and joined Bubby onto the floor. The automatic door was switched to stay off while they were in there, but they didn’t want to attract any more attention than necessary.

Which they knew they were probably about to attract in spades.

Thankfully, they had tweezers, a little rubbing alcohol, and some gauze to work with, so Gordon elected to take care of the rest while Tommy stayed on guard.

“Alright, man, this is probably gonna hurt, okay? Please don’t set me on fire for this...”

“Don’t dick around then and get on with it.”

Pulling glass out of skin was never fun, but he had to say that he never had to deal with a patient who tried to kick him in the face after one shard. Not that he could entirely blame Bubby, but still. The rest of the procedure went smoothly if only because Tommy let Bubby hold his free hand. If Tommy had to shake his hand so that blood would return to it afterwards, he didn’t complain.

Once the wound was bandaged, Bubby immediately tried to stand up and hissed in pain once he put weight on the injured foot.

“You-”

“It’s better than it was. Come on, let’s go.” Bubby beckoned for them to follow while he fiddled with the door controls. Once it was open, he hobbled forward with purpose.

At least now it seemed like he could walk without assistance. Even if he clearly favored one leg.

The next hallway had a window into an office that seemed empty, so they didn’t pay much attention to it as they entered. It was more immediately concerning that there was a dead scientist riddled with bullets in the far corner. As they got closer to the corpse, Gordon couldn’t help but look it over in case it somehow got back up without a headcrab latched on.

Bubby stopped and put a hand on his chin as if deep in thought. “Wait, I-”

THUNK.

“Shit!”

“AAAAAAAAAA!” Bubby managed to break into a run and slid under the stuck decontamination door at the far end of the hallway.

Tommy released several rounds into the bullet proof glass before stopping himself.

On the other side of the window was a headcrab zombie dully beating its head against the glass. Whoever it was had been a security guard based on the blue shirt and bullet proof vest. The head of the unfortunate soul was already decayed to the point where Gordon could see a jawbone dangling listlessly.

While horrifying in its own right, the sight made Gordon’s head spin, and he had to look away to make it stop.

“Mr. Freeman?”

After taking a few seconds to close his eyes and breathe, he forced himself to look at Tommy. “I’m good. Let’s go.”

Thankfully, Bubby had only gone through the other side of the decontamination room and was waiting for them. Once they had grouped back up, he said, “There’s an employee locker room nearby, and I want to get some damn clothes. Running around in my underwear is getting old.”

“Yeah, sure.” While it would be another hold up on time, Bubby was still shivering if they stood around for too long, and he definitely needed some shoes.

“… You’re going to need to break into the lockers. That’s what I need you for.”

“Glad to know I’m just here to be your errand boy.” The sarcasm wasn’t even remotely subtle.

“You got that right.”

Even if things were still… Off, the familiar banter was taking the edge off Gordon’s nerves.

After a few more hallways, the only way forward was conveniently through the men’s locker room and bathroom. The women’s room was blocked off, and even if they wanted to go in, there was a number lock preventing entry.

What they could see through the opened door was not promising. Blood and bullet holes littered the walls, and there were several corpses lying around. The only good news about the sight was that the blood didn’t look fresh.

Trying to find a different bright side, Gordon said, “Well, looks like you lucked out, Bubby, at least we can get in.” Happy to be getting somewhere, he shoved the crowbar into the first locker he could see and prepared to open it. Until Bubby stopped him.

“Not that one.”

Gordon couldn’t figure out what Bubby’s deal was and asked, “Why not?”

“How do you know they’ll have something that fits me?” He gestured at his body. Bubby was on the taller side and lanky...

“I dunno? I thought we’d figure that out once we saw what was in there?”

“Dumbass. Let’s be smart about this. Open this one instead.” Bubby patted the locker he was standing next to.

The smug tone made Gordon roll his eyes, but he complied. The crowbar went in with little resistance, but the door needed a fair amount of force before the lock snapped. Inside the locker was a typical scientist uniform along with some other personal items. Almost immediately, Bubby grabbed the clothing and looked at the sizes.

“I was right! See?” He proudly showed off that the pants were the perfect length.

“… Wait how did you guess that that locker would have the right size?”

“Some of my prototypes were assigned to work here, and I recognized the name.” The smugness faded a little, but before any further questions could be asked, Bubby turned away and shooed them. “Let me change, and I’ll be right out.” The bathroom stalls were riddled with bullet holes and offered little privacy, but they let him have his moment and pointedly kept their backs to him.

Noticing just how tense Tommy was, Gordon asked, “How much do you know about this section, Tommy?” Gordon asked. Part of this was because he was genuinely curious, but the other part was due to wanting to help with Tommy’s nerves.

“Uh. This is the Biodome. Part of it is- Studies Xenobiology. The other part is-” he waved towards where Bubby had gone. “They had- They partnered with Cybernetics though. For a while.”

I wonder if that’s when Coomer got his… everything. Gordon had lost track of how many enhancements Coomer had offhandedly mentioned by this point.

Before he could ask, Bubby yelled out, “Bubby’s back, bitches!”

If the stall door could have opened the other way, Gordon did not doubt that Bubby would have slammed it open.

As he took in Bubby’s appearance, he noticed that Bubby was also wearing the infamous Black Mesa Tie. “… You put the tie on too? Isn’t that a bit much?”

“It’s company protocol. Of course I did.” As if in spite, which it probably was, Bubby adjusted it to fit more snugly.

Gordon’s brain short-circuited. “But. We’re.”

“He’s right, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy agreed.

Gordon slumped his shoulders and shook his head. “Fine! I guess!” he said while throwing his hands up. “Let’s just get going.”

#Hlvrai #Half Life but the AI is self aware #My Writing #Gordon hlvrai #Tommy Coolatta #Bubby

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frocio · 4 years ago

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what's the five hours long speech about why you hate rwby king

ok so I guess I should tackle these. before reading know that there’s going to be spoilers up until forum 4 to 5 I guess? don’t remember where I got while watching the show.

while I think that hbomberguy’s video covers a really great chunk of the issues I have with RWBY, he specifically states he made all his analysis about volumes 1-3, and I’ve had the misfortune to watch a bit more after that (I think about until half volume 5? legit don’t remember)

the parts I don’t see the need to focus on, because hbomberguy already mentioned them in his incredibly detailed video, that truly make me despise RWBY, are the following:

1. the whole taking a story about four female characters and making it all about the male sidekicks, often the author’s self inserts;

2. the fact that the writers of RWBY really want to drive home the fact that they’re attracted to their SEVENTEEN TO FIFTEEN years old characters, while being grown men, describing them as their ideal women, and calling them pretty, hot and attractive literally all the fucking time;

3. making their main antagonists an oppressed race that’s oppressed because they’re half-animals (because you know. minorities are animals. that’s always a good metaphor /s) so they can say it’s a commetary about race until it isn’t;

4. the show being generally bad about timing, exposition, animation, dubbing, character establishing and development, worldbuilding, and all the problems deriving from what should be the BASE of showrunning.

so let’s pretend I’ve copied word for word everything hbomberguy already said about this all and let’s jump to what i personally ALSO despise about RWBY!

5. disrespect for abuse victims: as cited in the video as well, at some point you find out Weiss has lived all her life with an abusive father. Yang Xiao Long loses her arm while figthing against Adam, leader of the White Fang. Both Yang and Ruby have lost their mother - Yang was abandoned by her biological mother, then adopter by Ruby’s mom, who died in combat I think? Jaune, bad characterization aside, is implied to have PTSD after Phyrra’s death because he feels guilty about it or something. Canonically, Yang has PTSD as well. RWBY is not afraid to touch on heavy subjects, so:

How does the show deal with that?

Every time Weiss has a conflict, a man tells her to fuck off (a teacher, her brother, her own dad, Ruby’s uncle, Ozpin, I can go on!) just because “she’s the annoying one” and we should take that as a joke. I can sorta get it, even if I don’t like it. But there’s also a time where she gets slapped in her face by her own sister for no real reason just because she disagrees with her, and three seconds later they hug it out like it’s nothing. It’s framed as if Weiss should be grateful to most of these people (everyone but her brother and dad, really, because they were depicted as villains) for belittling and even hitting her, because they’re doing her a favor. Aren’t you glad your sister slapped some sense into you? Now you can use your powers better!

When Yang is depressed because she has become an amputee and needs to recover from losing an arm, her dad tells her, and I’m not joking, something along the lines of her deserving to lose an arm because she can’t get over it. And Yang somehow laughs at this “supposed joke” and suddenly she doesn’t have PTSD anymore? ok???

Jaune gets some armor frym Phyrra (how? she vanished in thin air. armor and all) and fuses it into his sword. BAM now he’s not as depressed?

6. how much trauma is too much trauma?

this is probably subjective, and it ties heavily with the point above, but I just want to point out a few details.

Yang and Ruby both lost their mother(s). Phyrra was chosen to sacrifice herself to save the world, and then died anyway a tragic death for no reason by getting shot in the heart. Penny was cut to pieces in front of a worldwide audience. Yang also got her arm cut. Blake, victim of an abusive relationship in the past, gets stabbed and beheaded (it’s almost immediately revealed it’s a clone of hers, but you still see her head get cut off) by her ex boyfriend. Weiss is slapped at least twice onscreen, it’s mentioned how she’s been abused her entire life. VELVET IS VICTIM OF THE RWBY EQUIVALENT OF A HATE CRIME AND IT’S PLAYED OFF FOR LAFFS??

And then.........one guy gets shot in the leg once, but not really shot because his legs are prosthetics so he’s just pretending to be hurt? and that’s the worse you’ll see happen to a guy onscreen while 17 years old girls keep getting THAT treatment? Not really into that.

7. is it still queerbaiting if it’s 2020?

Maybe this point is outdated, but let me take this out. Let me free myself from this burden. RT has milked the shit out of Bumblebee as a ship as long as they could (and maybe they’re still doing it! I have no clue if they’re canon or not and I really don’t care! Don’t tell me if they are! I don’t want to find out! I’d rather die than know!) to keep the attentions of lgbt fans because let’s be real, nothing else in the show is good enough. When Bumblebee came out as a soundtrack, I listened to it for days. I think it’s the height of their queerbaiting strategies for the time. Truly a masterpiece.

8. Vic Mignogna

Because of course I’m going there!

Vic Mignogna has been accused for about a decade now of sexual assault, harassment, and even pedophilia. Oldest charges go back to 2008, and are not exactly hard to find. RT has since cut contacts with him, but had him for over two seasons and only kicked him out when shit really started to hit the fan and tweets became viral about him (1, 2, 3). Glad that they kicked him out, don’t get me wrong, but he shoulnd’t have been there in the first place.

epilogue:

I’m sure I could talk about more stuff, like the fact that the minorities in the show are mostly white and treated like villains, and it’s okay to kill them because “they’re rude about being oppressed” or whatever, or how there was a picture circulating a few years ago of one of the guys from RT having a fucking magnet on his fridge with the t slur on it (don’t have receipts for it, and I wouldn’t even know how to search, so it’s not included in the list above), or how I got queerbaited for two years from RWBY and that’s why I’m so pissed at it, but really just. Watch hbombersguy’s video about it. He tackles most of the issues and, just like me, didn’t bother checking out this flaming pile of garbage more than I already did.

but the songs are still bangers

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ramblesofadreamerofthestars · 4 years ago

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The 100 said Live Fast Die Young, Bad Bitches Do It Well, and they were Right

We were so fed this episode with women kicking ass, it’s what we deserve. As always, spoilers for the most recent episode (7.06) of The 100

Indra becoming the commander of Wonkru, you love to see it. Like we’ve been saying this shit for years now, destroy the fucking flame and let Indra lead. Shout out to Adina Porter’s amazing acting skills (again), because every scene she’s in she absolutely kills and I am constantly in awe of everything she does. I understand where Indra was coming from with trying to get Madi to unite Wonkru again, the flame and the commander is all she’s known, but it was still,,,, Not Great! I’m so happy Jackson, Murphy and Emori showed up and put a stop to that shit, and I love how much they genuinely care for her. Side note, while I love getting to see Madi being a kid and getting to experience being normal, the fucking whiplash I got seeing Duncan/Quigley Quagmire on screen was a Time. “Yes I was a null left out to die, no I don’t want to fight you”, this kid is so Tired already I love him and want the best for him.

Beyond that incredible scene of Indra taking control of Wonkru (complete with “Can I at least watch?” ‘No.’ “I’m going to watch” and Murphy’s little clap, fucking amazing I love every moment Memori is on screen), the Sanctum scenes Once Again Dragged On. And now we added another plot? Technically we added it on a couple episodes ago but I’m already So Tired of Hatch’s girlfriend whatever the fuck her name is. “Tell Raven Boom Boom” fuck out of here with that corny ass shit, you are the Least important storyline in the clusterfuck that the writers have created. I kind of hope they all just get like...sent to a different planet I don’t Care about it.

Sheiheda (finally spelled that bitches name right I think) is so....one dimensional. Like, I get it it’s the increased tension with the believers and Wonkru fracturing and what not but he’s so fucking evil for...no reason?? He’s like, “everyone wants power blah blah blah power is the greatest weapon you could have, I’ll teach you how to gain power” whoop de fucking do. You’re not special, you’re not even an interesting flavour of evil I’m so tired of your shit. Penn getting the best line of “please Shut Him Up” was the audience taking over his body for a hot sec. Nelson I had hopes for you but like....b u d d y. “Hmm, I have dedicated my entire life to taking down corrupt leaders who take away people’s free wills so they can stay in power, but I guess I’ll listen to you, who won’t shut up about how people want power (self project much?) and also just give off bad vibes” like b r u h.

THE DIYOZA-BLAKE FAMILY IS BACK IN ACTION BITCHES!! When Diyoza appeared I was so fucking happy I have Missed Her. The montage of her being as inconvenient as possible and rescuing herself to a kickass soundtrack? Art. I love them all getting to reuinte and the little moment of comforting Octavia when she said Bellamy was dead (just you fucking wait babe). I think it’s fairly obvious which direction they want Echo to go but I’m still hoping against hope she gets some good character development before the series ends. Diyoza agreeing with Echo killing that old man picking flowers but Octavia not liking it, Interesting.

And Levitt!! He’s Not Dead!!! I am still very concerned for him and also slightly suspicious of him but I really really hope he’s as genuine as he seems. His and Octavia’s little moment, beautiful I loved it, Levitt really said punch me in the face it’ll be awesome huh. Not like, super thrilled with Gabriel’s choice but whatever they needed them to stay on Sanctum I guess.

(fuck you for mentioning the native Bardoans again without letting me see them or giving me more information Let Me See The Crystal Giants.)

And finally, our lord and saviour, Clarke Griffin and her team of planet hopping idiots. Did Not enjoy the spiders, just right off the bat, not a fan of those. However, Nakara being the human garbage disposal is so fucking funny to me and the fact that the caves are a living being (with an anomaly stone in it like fucking what??? Did this bitch eat that too???). That smash cut between Russel saying “Then you take out the enemies Queen” and Clarke Griffin, poetic cinema. I love her so much y’all and I love her and Raven’s little moment. ALSO! I would die for Niylah and her stupid puns I love her and want her protected at all costs. Jordan geeking out over aliens continues to be a delight, this is what we deserved from Monty and Harper’s kid. Remove the impressionable youth from the shitty influences and would you look at that, Much Better. And Miller continues to be a delight and a whole ass mood in every episode, just here for Clarke and to get their people back but complaining the whole way because of the batshit insanity they go through, I Love Him. So many “side” characters got like, three lines this episode and that’s really great for them, would love to see them say more some day.

I will say I wish Raven apologized to Clarke for what she’s said and done in the past, but her line of Clarke Griffin doesn’t break was really indicative of how the rest of the deliquints saw her, as their leader yes but also someone who could kill without falling apart when in reality we know it nearly destroyed her inside. I really hope that Raven continues to grow and understand and her and Clarke get to where they should have always been. Also, Raven talking about killing twelve (12) people and how it feels like her soul is breaking or whatever and I can just imagine Clarke’s inner monologue of “Remember that time I killed an Entire Mountain Of People and y’all got mad at me for leaving to process that, good times good times”. It’s definitely the start to a better path for Raven and I really really really hope it continues.

Overall, this episode while the plot was kind of boring was saved by just how amazing the ladies were, kick ass take names and look incredible doing it, I love them. The acting continues to be incredible (once again shout out to JR Bourne for doing the Most) and even though I despise some of the storylines, the actors should be given praise for making it compelling stories to watch with how far their characters have come. Fuck Sanctum though.

Next Episode Emori getting her time in the spotlight? You love to see it. I will say I’m incredibly worried for her (JRoth if you kill her is2g) but I am also So Ready to see her go off. I think this is the episode of Murphy with a gun to his head comes from? Idk should be interesting even if it’s dealing with whatever the fuck her name is crazy lady. Also, trouble with the Diyoza family, which will be Extremely interesting to watch as Diyoza has to come to terms with the fact that Hope has grown up without her, but also trying to make sure she doesn’t make the same mistakes Diyoza made.

When will Bellamy return from the war. When we get the Bellarke reunion I’m going to lose my mind y’all already know I’m a clown for them and I miss him (once again the character not the actor because Once Again, it is Completely understandable for them to prioritize their mental health first). I feel a little like Kronk watching these episodes like “oh ya, it’s all coming together” I can’t Wait for all the OG’s to reunite for the final season

#The 100 #the 100 s7 #the 100 spoilers #I know I didn't mention the Second Dawn #this post is already so long and I'm tired #but Miller saying It has to be a coincidence is dumbass representation baby #like ya ok it's a Coincidence that sounds logical #bellarke #because i'm literally always a clown for them #let Madi play soccer 2kwhateveryearitis

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popcultureoverdosed · 5 years ago

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Big Order. Big Trainwreck

Being made from the creator of the utter monstrosity that is future diary, big order was bound to fail from the start. It's hard to find a writer who fails so hard at telling a story without any form of self-awareness. It's even more badly written than future diary but thankfully less annoying. The anime adaptation only expands on the flaws by adding new scenes that are even worse than what happened in the manga. This is what happens when you hire the creator of Boku no Pico( I'm dead serious) to write the script.

To be fair, the series did have the potential to be good. Eiji accidentally caused the apocalypse ( through a dumbly worded wish) and he has to cope with it as well as having to take care of his sister. Could've been a nice character-driven drama but nope The first episode/chapter was strong but things just go downhill from there.

The story lets the audience know early on that this is a post-apocalyptic setting but it barely plays a factor here. Characters still go to school and use their phones without any problem. Apparently, there's still enough resources to maintain government building and internet service. You'd only know that the city went through a disaster because of the generic scenery of destroyed buildings. Our protagonist is Eiji Hoshimiya, a sullen teen who's riddled with the guilt of causing the great disaster while having to look after his ill sister. How did he cause this great disaster? Some random mystical little girl called daisy appeared before him and granted his wish to save the world, which she somehow interpreted as destroying it.

He lives the normal high school life until he meets a transfer student named character named Rin. She invites herself to his apartment and kidnaps Sena as revenge for her dead parents. While her wanting to get revenge on Eiji after her parents died in the apocalypse is an interesting goal that's her all there is to her character. She acts angry and homicidal towards Eiji whenever she's not having forced as hell ship tease moments with him. Their fight introduces the concept of orders, a blatant copy of the stand abilities form JoJo that represents the user's inner desires. Rin can use flames to heal from anything and Eiji can manipulate anything within a given radius. The aftermath of the battle results in Eiji accidentally ordering Rin to marry him and him getting drafted in a mysterious political organization called the group of ten.

What follows is a half baked story of political warfare as the group of ten use Eiji to gain dominance over Japan. Your manga is off to a great start when the main characters of nationalistic terrorists.

Nothing about the story or characters stood out. Things just happen and the audience is given no reason to care. How is it even possible to make a cast of superpowered individuals as boring as a brick wall? At least the cast of future diary could envoke emotion in me even if it was mostly annoyance. The only names here I remember are Eiji, Rin, and Sena and none of them are interesting at all. These people are just archetypes and tools used to move the garbage plot forward. There's a character called Daisy who's essentially a goddess but nobody questions her existence and her purpose is very poorly defined. Another character is Iyo who gets pregnant when Eiji touches her ears and tries to rape him in the anime cause she fell in love with his basic bland unseasoned chicken personality in a heartbeat. Said attempted rape never gets mentioned again after it happens. Not only is it offensively bad but if the genders were reversed, I'm sure male Iyo would be portrayed as a villain so seeing her get off scot-free is annoying. The creator's sexism resulted in writing females who only exist to pine after the basic male lead.

Is this shit for real?

The anime also thought it was a good idea to add disgusting incest subtext that wasn't in the manga. Eiji and Sena have an implied sex scene and the show wants viewers to think they're in love. This was nothing more than the director and scriptwriter pleasuring themselves seeing as how said incest does absolutely nothing to develop the two and is never referenced again. Again, the lack of self-awareness and sexism is crazy.

Readers aren't given good explanations on character motivation at all. I read the manga and watched the anime but I still don't understand the reasoning behind most of these characters. A few people wanna take over the world and that's about it. Why has no one made a wish to undo the great destruction? Daisy grants wishes to random people and not one of them at least thought of restoring the world? When nobody has any solid motives or decent personalities, the plot will bomb. The story wouldn't have been this bad if the writer didn't try to make it complex. I would much rather have read a JoJo Esque battle shonen than this poor excuse of a story. At least then it would've been popcorn entertainment.

The most positive thing about the series was the stands er- I mean -orders. Many people complained that the powers were too op( they're not) and were confusing. One person even called Eiji one of the strongest characters in fiction which honestly made me laugh. Op powers are good when handled well but everything is shit here. There's also the music composed by Call Evan. It made wonderful use of jazz and "Dominate", Eiji's theme song is far too good for what this show deserves.

Eiji can control the environment and people around his perimeter with little restrictions yet he always gets his ass kicked. There are hundreds of ways he can win any given battle and he fails to use any of them. He can condense the air to make a shield but rarely uses that ability and never uses it to suffocate his enemies. He never commands enemies to attack themselves. To make it even worse, his power is a weakened form of his maximum potential and in the manga, he can fuse with other orders to get even stronger. Even then he still gets his ass handed to him😶😑🙄. The sheer lack of creativity from both the creator and character is just marvelous. How is it even possible to be this incompetent?

The other characters are no better. The leader guy of the has a rip-off order of kumagawa misogi's all fiction from medaka box. Fact from fiction ( even the names are similar) lets him negate events from reality. Unlike kumagawa who marvelously screws over the main cast from his manga with his ability, the leader guy doesn't advance the plot at all and does not have any noteworthy battles. You also have a guy who can atomize anything, a girl who shoots lasers, a man who can brainwash others and a terrorist who controls rocks. Besides the terrorist chick, none of these people use their abilities in innovative ways. The writer could've taken lessons from JoJo, one-piece and even law of Ueki( so underrated) when it comes to writing superpowers.

The endings of both anime and manga are around just as bad but the manga might be even worse. The anime has an inconclusive ending where the world no longer hates Eiji and he just goes to school. That's it. The climactic battle was him using the full power of his order to manipulate abstract concepts to create a world where Sena can be happy. I'm sure the writers didn't intend for Eiji's last order to be as op as I just described but it Is. He wishes for something abstract and it comes true which implies he would be able to manipulate other concepts. And yet, he doesn't do anything about the run-down world he lives in. For a post-apocalyptic setting, the apocalyptic event barely had any influence on the characters or plot.

The manga comes up with a dumbass plot twist that Sena was the one who caused the great destruction and Eiji was just covering up for her. She turns evil and tries to destroy the world cause she's evil. Eiji refuses to let anyone kill the potential mass murderer and constantly protects her. Did I mention Rin and Eiji and kinda low key dating at this point? Eiji faces sena in an anticlimactic battle followed by a 1-year time skip where their current fate is unknown. And people thought Naruto had a bad ending..... With how abrupt and lazily put together the ending was, I can't tell if the manga was canceled or the creator lost interest. Both options seem highly likely.

That’s his sister by the way. Cause incest was exactly what this show needed

With its bland characters, a nonsensical plot and poorly thought out powers, big order is a clusterfuck of a show that continues to fade into obscurity. Even having a big name creator wasn't enough to keep it within the public eye. I was hoping for a so bad it's a good experience but this was just hot garbage. I give it a 4/10 for its bland character, muddy plot and terribly written romance. It only gets a four because the music and powers were pretty cool.

#big order #rant #blog #sexism #manga #Shounen Passion

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years ago

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Lollipunch

NCT Jaehyun x Reader + Johnny x Reader Characters: olderbrother!Lee Taeyong, Jung Jaehyun, Johnny Seo, Nakamoto Yuta Summary: Taeyong, who was the coolest, baddest boy in school, happened to be your psychotically protective older brother. He instantly hates on whoever even remotely shows interest in you, and ends up loathing the flowery nerd Jaehyun for sneaking sappy poetry into your locker. Warnings: Honestly no plot, angst-ish?, punching, degrading, hot-headedness, slightly graphic, etc. Words: 1k+

A/N: baby this is an au ok. we all know taeyong is the fluffiest child of the world soOO yeah

Taeyong popped a large-ish cherry lollipop in his mouth and twitched his nose as he stormed off to his target.

“Ya, Jung Jaehyun!” he screamed, causing you who was minding your own business, fixing your things in your locker, to whip your head in the direction of the idiotically enraged man.

You knit your brows deeply as he made his way over to you.

With his flame red hair, black leather jacket, skinny jeans, and rough walk, it was unmistakable that this gangster was looking for trouble, even with the stick of candy sticking out of his lips.

There were some still wholly confused as to how you two were related, with how contrasting you looked against him in your peach dress and fruity perfume. And even you question it sometimes, but quickly push it away because you knew deep down, Taeyong was simply a soft boy that loved cuddles.

But it wasn’t one of those days for him.

Today, he looked like he was looking for blood.

“Yaaa,” you drag out as your older brother made his way over, “why are you being mean to Jaehyun when he isn’t even here—“ but alas, Taeyong seemingly missed you, his eyes focused on someone farther. And suddenly, it wasn’t too much of a surprise to find out that he was going for something—someone—directly behind you.

Then there was a loud clash against the lockers.

You jolted back in surprise, gasping. With your hand clutched on your chest, you turned around and saw no other than a glasses clad Jung Jaehyun pinned against metal by his shoulders with Taeyong staring him down, absolutely furious.

“YA!” the assaulter erupted, making you cover your ears in panic.

You dashed forward and tried to separate them, but Taeyong didn’t budge a bit off of Jaehyun.

“I told you to stop leaving your sobby love notes, and arts and crafts projects around my sister, loser.” Taeyong growled, tightening his grip on Jaehyun’s clothes. “She wants nothing to do with you, or your four eyes.”

You let out a breath in frustration, “Taeyong! Taeyong that’s enough!”

“And another thing: stop creeping around her, or I'll beat you up better than Sugar Ray.”

You whined and once again tried to peel off your brother away from the poor, bluing Jaehyun. “Taeyong…” you released like a threat, but to the said person's ears it was simply irritating.

He growled and tuned to you. “STAY OUT OF THIS!” he shouted, shoving you away, unintentially sending you falling back on your tailbone.

You made a pained sound and simultaneously two different voices called for you. One was Jaehyun, and the other, you knew to be Johnny, who currently running down the hall towards this hurricane.

Johnny hated it when his best friend, Taeyong, got his sister, you, involved in his muck. Johnny tried to get you to stay out of it as much as he could. He hated seeing you get hurt; it angered him.

Taeyong turned to you, stunned, “Are you okay?”

And unexpectedly, Jaehyun pushed his captor off and yelled, “How could you hurt your own sister?” all before throwing a right hook to the other guy’s nose.

Tayong gripped his face and went flying back. Though admittedly, he didn’t think the scum Jung Jaehyun had it in him to fight back, with how used he was with fist fights, he quickly regained composure, and quickly retaliated.

“YOU BASTARD!” Taeyong shouted, throwing a solid punch to Jaehyun’s cheek, before ramming into him and punching him onto the ground.

It was at this point Johnny came and helped your stunned, screaming self up from the floor. You screamed at your brother to stop, but it fell empty to his ears.

“JOHNNY DO SOMETHING!” you cried and turned to the said man. Johnny was a good guy and a good friend, and he wasn’t particularly scared of Taeyong, but that wasn’t the reason why he hesitated for a moment. He hesitated because there was a bitter taste in his throat, because you thought Jaehyun was actually cute no matter how unpopular he was.

Neither did Johnny fuss about popularity really, but he honestly couldn’t fathom what you saw in this awkward chump… when there was him.

Eventually though, as Johnny was a good person, he had taeyong off of a badly bruised ad bloody nosed Jaehyun in a matter of seconds. Did I mention Johnny was extremely tall?

You ran to him Jaehyun as Taeyong was being pacified by his best friend. You hear your brother try to tell you off, but you ignored him like he did you. You lifted Jaehyun’s head and used your shaky hand to wipe off the red on him with your baby blue hankie.

You boiled in anger and your tears welled up. You whipped your head to your brother and shouted with a broken voice “ARE YOU PSYCHO?”

“Get away from him!” Taeyong barked, trying to get away from Johnny.

“You could’ve killed him, moron!”

“That’ll teach him to stay away from you, teach everyone who dares come near you with goo-goo eyes!”

“He barely even talked to me, Taeyong!”

Taeyong scoffed, “He’s a lunatic!”

“Oh, and beating him up proves you aren’t?!” you fumed. With a digusted scoff, you turned away from your brother, “That’s enough. Take him away from here, Johnny.”

Your heart broke at the sight of the flinching man on the floor. You looked at the crowd around you and scoffed once more, “SOMEONE CALL A NURSE! RED CROSS! AN AMBULANCE! ANYTHING!”

Taeyong fought off Johnny, “Fucking, dumbass! I’m not leaving my sister with that garbage!”

You huffed and turned to Johnny who looked at you with soft eyes. You urged him by calling his voice, but Johnny didn’t move your brother away at all.

“I think you should leave too,” Johnny spoke, eyeing the man on the floor.

“You dogs,” you speak lowly, “I can’t just leave him here.”

“Well, actually,” a voice called and emerged a guy named Yuta. “You can now. You shouldn’t be here,” he added, looking down his best friend, gripping the handle of his first aid kit in hand.

Tayeong laughed dryly at the sight of Yuta, “What a fucking nerd.”

“Yuta,” I say with a soft voice

He sighs and turns to me, “I’d say it’s not your fault, but… you’ve done enough here.” Yuta then crouched down and started tending to his friend. At this point a couple of students in the Red Cross started piling around us.

“Lets go!” Taeyong shouted. He snored and spat out blood to his side. You stood up from where you sat and walked off with Taeyong and Johnny. Your eyes were fixated however on the battered man surely unconscious on the floor.

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moonvalecrossing · 5 years ago

Note

Now here's something I haven't asked you in a long time: a "Fav and Least Fav" ask related to Pokémon. Favorite and least favorite Gym Leaders of each type they specialize in? Kahunas and Trial Captains will count, but if one ends up as your fav/least fav, I'd suggest separating them and the actual Gym Leader that's your fav/least fav of their type. Also, Bede and Marnie's statuses as Gym Leaders will count too, mostly just so Piers can have some competition with his sis. :P

Alrighty. Time to sit down and tackle this!

Normal Type- Least Favorite: Whitney. WHITNEY. That damn Milktank. I’m sure she’s killed many a Nuzlocke team. And yet still has the gall to cry like a baby when she loses. She also comes across as one of those vapid dumb and pretty trend girls. “Everyone was into pokemon so I got into it too!” I really think skill is the only thing they care about when they hand out the title of Gym Leader sometime because this chick really doesn’t seem to be the type who’d normally get this type of authority.

Normal Type- Most Favorite: Cheren. He is adorable baby husband. Though mostly it’s really cool to see another rival become a gym leader like Green did. I just wish they’d kept his glasses instead of for some reason swapping them to Bianca for some reason.

Fighting Type- Least Favorite: Korrina. Her character art bugs me. Is she seriously supposed to be wearing skates and also doing fighting moves? I can’t even stand on four wheel skates without nearly breaking every bone below my waist. And you’re telling me this girl runs around doing axe kicks on roller blades??? No thank you. Also she hoists a Lucario onto you. I like raising my pokemon from their earliest point and you go and make me have to take one because I’d feel bad if I didn’t since it wants to come with me now.

Fighting Type- Most Favorite: Brawly. Mostly because he’s hot. Slightly because his gym is actually a gym with workout equipment in the remake and I find that amazing and hilarious.

Flying Type- Least Favorite: Skyla. Partially because of her anime counterpart. Mostly because I hate her design. Why are her wrists so thick on those gloves? Why is she wearing boots, a cropped jacket, those weird gloves, and what look closer to boxer style panties than shorts underneath a bunch of bondage-y belts? She looks like a generic anime waifu more than a pokemon character. Like a Mega Man OC. Of one of those weird dating games where the women are just objects in female coded human form Skyla’s a humanized seatbelt.

Flying Type- Most Favorite: Falkner. Because Kahili isn’t a gym leader. Congrats, Falkner. You cute little bugger. Also he’s the only notable male flying type trainer.

Poison Type- Least Favorite: Prepare the flame shields. I don’t like Roxie. Small children as Gym Leaders bug the hell out of me. I see Gym Leaders as characters with high authority in the pokemon world. I hate the idea of kids who look like they’re only a few years out from learning the alphabet and basic mathematics having any kind of power in a region. The only exception I have is Galar because the gym leaders feel less important since they’re merely sports celebrities. ...Also I hate Roxie’s Pebbles Flintstone hair. It makes her look even more like a baby to me.

Poison Type- Most Favorite: Koga. Despite the fact I still think that he and Sabrina had their gyms switched, he’s still my favorite. He even became a member of the Elite 4 and left the gym to his daughter. I find that sweet.

Ground Type- Least Favorite: (Actually Hapu, because of reasons stated above for Roxie, except even more because this kid is a freaking KAHUNA. Why is this little mud farm girl chosen to be the KAHUNA of a whole dang island and one of the most important people in Alola? Surely the Tapus could find someone better, but then again the gods must be crazy.) Clay. Because he looks like a Texan Business Tycoon. And I’m a left-leaning American. That should probably explain things well enough. Because boy howdy do I not wanna open that can of worms. Maybe if I ever get to the point of fighting him in Black Version my opinion will change. But like I said. My real answer is Hapu. Clay just has the misfortune of being next at the bottom of the line.

Ground Type- Most Favorite: Giovanni. Because he is my mafia husbando and I am a garbage human. Have you seen a picture of the man in the “How I became a Pokemon Card” manga? Hot damn. And his newer pokemon cards? HOT DAMN.

Rock Type- Least Favorite: Gordie. This Ronaldo Fryman looking fucknugget with accessory tips from Bling Bling Boy on Johnny Test. He looks like one of those smug basement dweller types who’d call me a FEEEEEMALE if I turned him down for a date. Also his official art does the same thing I hate about Diantha’s. His knee faces more inner-forward but his foot’s pointing outward. Unless that picture’s drawn with him in mid dance spin, dude’s ankle is broken. At least he looks kind of cute when he doesn’t have his hair styled back in that douchey style. I feel like he’d yell about feemales again if I told him I thought his mom was hot. Also he’s not wearing socks with dress shoes and that should be a criminal offense.

Rock Type- Most Favorite: Roxanne is super cute. Even if she’s skirting the line of young people in positions of power she actually looks like a mature person who was ahead of her age level in school. However I will object to the idea of her being a teacher in any shape or form like in the anime. This person hasn’t even struggled through the mental ravages of puberty aint no way she should be allowed to be a teacher.

Bug Type- Least Favorite: Burgh, if only because people use him as a stereotype a lot and I hate that. Toxic masculinity is bs. MEN CAN BE FABULOUS WITHOUT BEING GAY. That said, his pants and shoes are a color crime.

Bug Type- Most Favorite: Guzma is the equivalent of a Bug Type trial captain and you will never convince me otherwise. I- what- you’re really gonna fight me on this? Fine. Bugsy. Bugsy is my precious bug-catching child. Precious baby.

Ghost Type- Least Favorite: Acerola. I’ve already stated why I hate kids in power like this. Plus I just. do not like. characters with the bubbly personality and the cat mouth. I instantly know I’m going to dislike a character the moment I see that damn catmouth. I’m not coming up with a non-trial alternative for this one. I am either neutral to or love the other ghost trainers.

Ghost Type- Most Favorite: Morty. Because 1. He’s hot. 2. He’s got a sweet scarf. 3. Agatha’s not a gym leader. :P Morty has a very nice design. After the remakes came out anyways.

Steel Type- Least Favorite: There’s only like two of these. I don’t hate Jasmine at all but she’s the only other actual gym leader of the Steel Type. So we’re gonna use Molayne anyways. Mostly because his stick-ass gangly legs give me the creeps.

Steel Type- Most Favorite: I’ve never met him but Byron looks like a miner hobo and I dig that. Plus he made Roark and Roark’s hot. (Then why isn’t Roark my favorite rock gym leader? Because not all my favorites can be because of my asexual thirst.)

Fire Type- Least Favorite: Blaine always makes me think of my grandfather and I am not that fond of my grandfather. Even though Blaine seems much much nicer and friendlier a grandpa than my actual grandfather.

Fire Type- Most Favorite: Flannery’s design is adorable and I love it. Doesn’t hurt that it’s also the kind of outfit my more pro-fire trainer would wear.

Water Type- Least Favorite: Marlon. Don’t get me wrong. Marlon’s hot. But he gets to be least favorite for lying about being a tan boy. Seriously look at that tan line around his swim suit that pastey white skin does not do his design favors.

Water Type- Most Favorite: Wallace. This one is pure thirst. Pure. Thirst. Wallace is a babe. I love everything about this fabulous bastard. Especially his hat and scarf in the remake. Especially the remake. Babe.

Grass Type- Least Favorite: Milo. I’m starting to feel like the people who design and did the art for some of these newer characters don’t know how bulkier people’s legs work. Because Milo and Gordie’s legs just look really, really wrong. These characters do not have ankles their calves just end at flat feet. Also milo’s leg is doin that broken ankle thing too. Other images don’t make them look as bad, though. Other than that I hate characters who have no whites to their eyes. It’s freaking creepy and Milo’s baby face doesn’t help. And I can not figure out the design of this guy’s eyebrows either. I know he has them but they don’t look like the anything but exist to blend with his bangs.

Grass Type- Most Favorite: Erika. I like her design a lot. I guess some of the weeb in me still exists deep in there.

Electric Type- Least Favorite: Sophocles. I just don’t like his design. At all. Only other arguments I could give are the kid with with Clemont again. That and his jumpsuit.

Electric Type- Most Favorite: Lt. Surge, Volkner, and Elesa are are great. But Elesa wins because Lt. Surge is a paranoid soldier who makes getting to him a chore and Volkner looks like he takes the same brooding pills they fed to Cloud after Final Fantasy Advent Children turned into into the broodlord. Also ‘urgh need actually challenging opponents’ characters bug me, regardless of how attractive they are.

Psychic Type- Least Favorite: Tate and Liza. But this time the main reason ISN’T because they’re babies. No, no. That’s a big reason, but even being psychics can’t save them. They have a BIG problem. The main reason for these two is that their gym team is garbage. Emerald and Black2/White2 not counting in this because of the remake being their current gym team in my eyes its just a damn solrock and lunatone! I love me Lunatone, don’t get me wrong. But damn, kids. How are you actually gym leaders with a team of pokemon that is barely suitable for the gym trainer in the first gym of the region? The only starter that can’t hit you with a super effective move is the fire starter. Being a double battle only means that I can get rid of your pokemon faster because I get to use TWO pokemon moves on my turn.

Psychic Type- Most Favorite: Olympia. Her design is absolutely beautiful. I want her dress. I want her cape. She is the black and silver space queen and she WILL BE RESPECTED IN THIS HOUSE. Even if whoever did her art doesn’t seem to realize dresses don’t slip into the navel or hug into the crotch hole. Surprised whoever drew it didn’t also add the camel-toe since they think fabric works that way. If I were her I’d strangle someone with one of those magical floaty ring bracelets. Space mom aint having non of your objectification shit.

Ice Type- Least Favorite: Candice. You live in a winter town. Your gym is an ice slide hell. Put on some goddamn pants and a coat. I’m not gonna give you any sympathy when you end up with the worst cold ever.

Ice Type- Most Favorite: Melony. She is adorable and has actual weight to her. And she loves her kids. And holy shit look at her she’s actually dressed for cold weather and ice unlike nearly every other goddamn Ice Gym Leader besides Pryce.

Dragon Type- Least Favorite: Claire is an arrogant b-witch who cant accept defeat and is worst that whitney because at least Whitney gave you your earned badge when she stopped crying like a baby. Claire refused until you did some ‘trial’ and still didn’t think she’d have to give you the badge until granddad dragon master told her to stop being a child. Also she gets more least favorite points because she’s what has prevented me from talking about how much I hate Iris here. That’s right, Claire. I dislike you so much you get MORE hate points because you prevent me from hating another character more than you.

Dragon Type- Most Favorite: Raihan is a babe and the most challenging Gym Leader I’ve ever faced. Bonus points because technically I wouldn’t call him a type-based gym leader but a strategy based leader because he focuses on weather more than dragons. Plus his “Leader Challenges You!” post makes him look a little wild.

Dark Type- Least Favorite: Marnie. Because I wanted to see her brother again so I invited him to the Championship thing and Marnie freaking cockblocked me by beating her brother in the first round. LET ME SEE YOUR BROTHER, MARNIE.

Dark Type- Most Favorite: Piers is my husband and Marnie’s just gonna have to deal with it. :P He’s super cute and his worrying over Marnie in the post game was the cutest damn thing. Plus young Piers in his rare league card is so precious and gives me life. It’s gonna take a lot of work for any other dark type trainer to top Piers.

Fairy Type- Least Favorite: Mina. I hate Mina. Lazy/Unfocused/High artist characters piss me off. Alo Mina should have been a normal type trial captain because of smeargle and the fact that Ilima has pink hair and the same huge buggy-like water eyes Valerie has. Mina even dips her damn hair in paint like Smeargle does with its tail. Mina couldn’t be assed to have an actual trial the first time around. Second time around she just made you go collect something from people you already beat.

Fairy Type- Most Favorite: Bede. If you can’t look this beautiful sparkly eye angel of a child in the eyes and find him amazing once he becomes Opal’s apprentice, you have no soul and should probably get that looked at.

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langwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

So a while ago I said I was planning on playing the story routes in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer.

The Golden Deer made a liar out of me.

So, here’s an approximation of What Happened During Verdant Wind.

So many spoilers below the cut, you guys. I do a lot of route comparisons.

Okay, I’ve been staring at the “which house do you want” selection screen for an embarrassing amount of time.

This shouldn’t be hard. I had a plan.

But no.

I clicked the Golden Deer, just like that. What the fuck, Claude. I blame you.

Immediately upon talking to this rop of students again, I can feel the difference in the social group from what the Lions were like. The latter were really a bunch of noble kids around their prince, and they felt really tight-knit. Classic Fire Emblem starter crew.

The Golden Deer is the fucking Scooby Gang.

First impressions of individuals:

Raphael, thank goodness, is the one character who absolutely has his shit in order. Sure, he’s bad at book work and thinks everything comes down to MUSCLES, but all of his emotional issues are handled by the time he arrives at Garreg Mach. He’s the brightest of sunshines.

Ignatz needs some more confidence in his art, and also I want to see his painting of Seiros. Now, if only both of his offensive stats and growths weren’t incredibly bad.

I was so close to making him my dancer. Just because he sure as hell wasn’t gonna be useful anywhere else.

Lorenz! I don’t like him. His haircut is a monstrosity.

Leonie! We are going. To be. Besties. Even though the timing of your support conversations are incredibly bad.

Marianne no please don’t be sad everyone loves you

Hilda is the greatest enabler I have ever seen. By which I mean she enables other people to do all her work for her.

Lysithea is going to have the last word with God. And especially he Death Knight.

And finally Claude! Teamwork makes the dream work, so obviously meme work does the same.

I’m sorry.

PRE-TIMESKIP

Mock battle! Marianne’s great and I love her and also the only healer oh god.

OKAY. I have access to New Game+ bonuses. What do I do first?

Immediately crank the Professor Level stat to max to avoid ever having to run short of activity points again.

Next, raise all skills I can’t easily get to at least Rank D+. HEAVY ARMOR IN PARTICULAR.

Third: Boost supports with people whose support ranks are an absolute pain in the ass to earn. Lookin’ at you, Rhea.

Also, put glasses on Byleth (named “Yuri” for this playthrough). Glasses are the bomb. I am the evil genius.

LEVEL GRINDING TIME.

It’s a lot harder with Blacksmith access being story-locked, but I can do this!

As a direct result, every single battle after this point is a complete curbstomp in my favor. Because the grind don’t stop.

I broke a lot more weapons than last time, though.

I will befriend Leonie and Ferdinand if it’s the last fucking thing I do. I will befriend everyone, and I will not get timeskip-locked out of supports! >:(

Ferdinand was my first recruit. Oh dear.

Okay, there are like five born cavaliers in this game. Leonie, Ferdinand, Lorenz, Sylvain, and I guess Dimitri if you’re on the right route.

Last time, Sylvain was a great paladin and a decent Dark Knight before he started getting one- or two-stat level ups for like thirty levels. Similarly, Dimitri was great until all his ultra-secret-awesome promotions didn’t use a fucking horse.

Contrast Leonie who, despite sitting out 99% of the game out of spite from me getting locked out of her support chain, went to endgame with a ten-level deficit and still rocked.

Ferdinand didn’t count since I failed to recruit him last time and he died. These two facts are directly related.

I didn’t use Lorenz at all; I recruited him to keep from having to kill him later.

This time, Lorenz straight-up sucks, Sylvain did the terrible level dance for like the entire game, and Dimitri’s not recruitable.

Contrast, again, Leonie. Her support chain with the player character is hot garbage, but she plowed through most of the game as a mainstay of my team and made it to Bow Knight first out of anyone.

Bernadetta and Ashe as Bow Knights don’t even come close to being as durable as she is, except for Ashe’s absolutely bananas Resistance. 29?! WHY?!

And Ferdinand is also awesome. His only real weak point is Resistance, but he doesn’t need it. He dodge-tanks everything, is faster than Leonie, and has two Saints’ relics he unknowingly stole from Seteth.

He still talks in MLA format, though.

I started putting off recruiting people so I wouldn’t have to level-grind them up to par with the rest of my team.

But if these people wanna join, of course I’m saying yes.

Lord Lonato’s rebellion and Miklan yoinking the Lance of Ruin feel way less relevant on a Golden Deer playthrough than on a Blue Lions one. None of the Herd really know who the hell these people are.

I say that despite having already recruited Sylvain for this playthrough and deploying him in the relevant level. He wasn’t treated as there by the game’s preamble cutscenes.

At least the Holy Mausoleum stuff feels more...handled? Claude actually asks questions about rebellion and about the “assassination plot,” where Dimitri didn’t really.

OKAY SO there’s this whole plot thing where Flayn goes missing for a month. With the Blue Lions, this is handled like a manhunt. Dimitri’s seriousness about the issue rubs off on everyone except Sylvain, and Felix actually correctly identifies the culprit almost instantly. He doesn’t know he’s done it, though, because basically everyone is just throwing out accusations. Manuela is the real MVP.

CONTRAST THE DEER. The very first meeting reads like a Scooby Doo episode, when they’re piling up clues and throwing out suggestions like the gang of goofball teenagers they are. Claude’s got this group running like Persona 4′s Investigation Team. None of them are jaded or frantic, they’re just doing this.

Why did Rhea entrust the investigation to a herd of teenagers.

Anyway, the rest proceeds as usual.

I don’t know why the game tries to drop the same set of hints for each route. “OoooowoooooOOOOoooo, your house leader might be the FLAME EMPEROR.”

The Flame Emperor wears heels. And is still too short to be either Claude or Dimitri. Especially Dimitri. Who the fuck let this kid get so tall.

The only real result of all this bullshit is that my wyvern-riding sniper of doom is not available during the first map where Yuri personally beat the Death Knight into the ground.

Which, by the by, was hilariously cathartic.

It doesn’t exactly matter, since the only unit who can make real use of the Dark Mage and Dark Bishop classes is unrecruitable, but bragging rights.

Remire Village’s drama is about as bad while playing as the Golden Deer. One of the foreshadowing cutscenes, though is excellent:

Claude actually finds a book that depicts The Immaculate One before its debut, only to have it confiscated by Seteth and learn that it wasn’t a library book at all; it belonged to “Tomas.” Like, all of his suspicions--which he shares with the player--start lining up. Censorship! Monsters! Sword of the Creator! What the hell is going on here??

Dimitri’s version of the cutscene involves him being caught investigating Lord Arundel by the player and Sothis. Which--since his route doesn’t meaningfully deal with the Morlocks faction aside from steamrolling them as incidental opponents--seems kinda useless.

Kicked the Death Knight into submission again out of spite.

Sylvain was useful! Mostly because I had him sit there and distract the incidentals while Claude and Lysithea cleaned house, but still!

Claude is the only lord character who seems to understand that the transforming Morlock faction probably needs to be taken more seriously. For the remainder of Part One, no one does so.

Rhea you’ve got some ‘splainin to do.

Marianne’s my team’s dancer this time. She’s a sweetheart. She seemed happy to be asked and to pursue the lessons, and being able to use Physic is a good trait in someone who’s nearly always going to be waaaaay behind the rest of the group.

Dad-stabbing happened.

Again.

Boop boop Solon’s dead.

Again.

Dear diary: I learned the definition of irony and set the Flame Emperor on fire.

I kid.

But Claude took her out in one completely overpowered shot, because crits are a thing, Flame Emperor class skills don’t reduce damage enough to survive it, and his Dex stat is through the fucking roof. And he was on a wyvern at the time because fuck it, why not.

Claude’s reaction to all of this is a minor letdown compared to the fully-rendered cutscene in the last route.

This would become something of a trend--taking out OP bosses with unexpected critical hits.

I didn’t expect to like Lorenz and now I do. How.

This is hilarious simply because he seems to be the only character that Mercedes hates. What the fuck, man.

Once again, Edelgard invades! Once again, I drop someone unexpected on her head!

Not really. It was Yuri.

Yuri does the timeskip shuffle and we’ll see everyone again after a nap.

FIVE YEARS LATER.

Aw, Claude was waiting for Yuri to show up. Adorable.

The post-meetup fight is actually harder than it was in the BL route, despite excessive level-grinding. This is due to three factors:

Claude is automatically on a wyvern, meaning that he has inherent class vulnerability to archers on a map with at least five of them. And less range than they did, for some fucking reason.

Lorenz and Ignatz started out on the same corner of the map and both of them are shitty offensive units who could barely kill a mage between them. (Neither of Ignatz’s offensive stats cracked 20 for another thirteen levels.)

I don’t have Ashe and his personal skill Locktouch, and nobody started with a Chest Key or Door Key, which meant I had to keep various enemies alive long enough to steal all of their stuff. And the enemy item drops came up one short of the number of chests on the map. I want my stuff, dammit.

LET’S MAKE A SCENE.

Randolph, as a boss in Verdant Wind, did not get any better at figuring out when he’s outmatched. Therefore, I killed him with Raphael again.

At least he straight-up died this time.

Claude didn’t even get to set the damn place on fire.

Ingrid is turning out to be way better of a unit this time than she was last time. She’s a little slower, but a lot stronger.

FELIX, WHERE THE FUCK WAS ALL THIS STRENGTH HIDING LAST TIME. YOU’RE TEN POINTS AHEAD OF THE GUY WHO HAS STORY-BASED SUPER STRENGTH.

AND SPEED.

Iiiiiiiiit’s JUDITH!

She only shows up on one map in the entire Azure Moon route, and that’s a damn shame. She’s so cool in Verdant Wind.

A lord-class character who isn’t also a Lord! WOO!

Also her spies are better than anybody’s apparently.

I am choosing to believe that because Ingrid’s family is related to Judith’s, her badassery in this route is the direct result of meeting her distant cousin and absorbing badass radiation.

There’s something funny about having to pull one over on Lorenz’s dad to get anything done. The Great Bridge falls not to power, but Claude baiting Count Gloucester’s entire army to be somewhere else. (FEAR THE DEER.)

As a result, Ladislava dies alone. (As opposed to taking Ferdinand with her due to plot shenanigans.)

Lysithea and Ferdinand’s paralogue was really quite sad, for all that the only named guy who died was deeply unsympathetic. Ferdinand’s dad was an asshole, but he wasn’t the asshole for this particular scenario, and now both of his parents are gone. :(

Felix...hasn’t heard from his dad in a while. Worrying.

Oh, and Caspar’s uncle is still dead, in case we were keeping track of that.

Dorothea’s happier with Ferdinand alive. She did an impression of the Gatekeeper. :3

Gronder Field! FUCK.

I delayed playing this chapter for two solid days because I already knew what was gonna happen. Specifically: Edelgard gets injured and evacuated, and Dimitri drops of exhaustion just in time to get run through like ten times by the Emperor’s rearguard.

I eventually got my shit together enough to do the thing.

Marianne, Raphael, and Ferdinand went after the Kingdom army first. Leonie and Felix hung back and then reinforced them after taking out the archer on the central hill.

Claude killed everyone in the center of the map, which meant Edelgard set the entire hill on fire and if Bernadetta had not been recruited she would’ve burned to death there on the spot.

Ahem.

I sent Yuri to clear the entire left side of the map by herself.

She succeeded.

Raphael KO’d Dimitri with a luck Gauntlet crit, got blasted down to half health by a Warlock, then plunked ineffectually at Dedue until Marianne used her Levin Sword to sort him out.

Ferdinand killed everyone else on that side of the map.

Claude once again got the kill on Edelgard with a lucky crit, after Yuri had killed everyone else (up to and including the Demonic Beasts) single-handedly.

And then the plot moved on. Hilda’s account of Dimitri’s death was awful, Dedue’s reaction was worse, and off we go to punch Edelgard’s teeth in.

Again.

Annette’s dad is probably dead now.

Felix’s, too.

(I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE DAD-STABBING.)

FOOOOOORT MERCEUS.

No matter how many times I think about it, Claude’s Almyran army reinforcements only make so much sense. How the hell and fuck did he manage to sneak an entire foreign army across a whole country to help with one battle?

But hey, they’re here, and Claude almost admitted the reason why he could do that. And the arrow greeting between him and Nader was cool.

(Spoiler: On top of being the Alliance’s leader, he’s also the crown prince of Almyra!)

The Death Knight had the gall to run from my army.

Yuri punched his ticket for the third time, which was not the charm.

And then Fort Merceus took an intercontinental ballistic missile and suddenly defeating the fort’s garrison feels a lot less triumphant.

Spot the miscolored eyes in this cutscene!

Welp. Fuck it, we’re off to Enbarr. Time to also punch Hubert this time! What a change of pace.

Eyyy, it’s the Enbarr map. I totally forgot to bring Seteth and Flayn along to check out the opera house, despite a whole bunch of characters talking about how they totally wanted to check that place out at some point. No room for deadweights in a map that has SO MANY ARCHERS.

Managed to get the special dialogue between Ferdinand and Hubert, and now I’m sad again.

Killed Hubert with Claude.

And because this is a two-part map, we immediately run off to chase down Edelgard. Due to the player army not doing a really weird 180 in the middle of the plot to kick Cornelia out of Fhirdiad, she didn’t have time to turn into a giant demonic thing! She just has WAY TOO MANY MAGES.

Strategy: Forget what Door Keys are, split the team by Avoid rating, and go to town.

Claude nearly died thanks to a critical mass of Gremories and Mortal Savants (and still, what the fuck is that name), but Dedue-as-guest-character didn’t, so I count that as a win! His defense was so high that the Giant Demonic Beast couldn’t even scratch him.

Claude, Petra, and Ingrid all having Alert Stance as a skill means dodge-tanking is hilariously easy.

Also, Ingrid was supposed to just take a chunk out of Edelgard’s HP bar for the final assault and ended up crit-killing her on the first attack. With a bog-standard silver lance.

Weird as the situation turned out, I guess that means one of Dimitri’s friends really did avenge him after saying they would. Even if Dedue was the only one who had a special cutscene about it.

We rescued Rhea! And the characters being happy about it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I want answers, same as Claude, and being forced to RP Yuri being oh so worried about Rhea’s safety felt incredibly disingenuous.

Claude actually yells at her over the “...” she seems to think is an explanation. THE TIME FOR SECRETS IS PAST.

WHY DID ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN.

WE’VE BEEN AT WAR FOR FIVE YEARS.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE DIED HORRIBLY FOR BASICALLY NOTHING.

Incidentally, this is why I didn’t end up playing Edelgard’s route as planned. Her logic for kicking two other sovereign countries in the balls felt incredibly self-centered.

At least Catherine’s happy. Same with Alois and the rest of the Church crew.

They are soon going to be not as happy.

I’m filling out the ENTIRE support log before endgame. I have absolutely no idea what characters are going to end up together as a direct result.

The last conversation? Seteth and Manuela’s A+ support!

Because so many of the support conversations are romantic at A/A+ level, I guess we’ve managed to turn this ragtag army into a polyarmory.

Oh boy, Thales sure is a sore loser.

I say, as though I didn’t kill EVERYONE he knew over the course of an hour and also split his skull open under Seteth’s axe. His racism would have keeled his ass over before death set in.

That sure is a ICBM.

GOD DAMMIT RHEA, THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A Q&A SESSION AFTER THIS.

WHY DOES EVERYONE WHOSE JOB IS EXPOSITION UP AND DIE.

Meanwhile: THE UBER-DEAD PEOPLE.

Claude, your route is batshit. What is this genre anymore?!

I wanna point out that, despite seeing Rhea/Seiros do the dragon thing, the player character never told Claude what the fuck that was about. I feel like one of the first things I would have done after the class reunion would be going, “By the by, did anyone else notice the fucking dragon?!” WHO IS ALSO THE POPE???

Bah.

ANYWAY. Looooong-overdue exposition time!

I notice that Rhea didn’t out Seteth or Flayn, which was nice of her.

Claude, she can turn into a fucking dragon. I don’t think immortality is that far from being plausible.

GOD DAMMIT NEMESIS, CAN YOU FUCK OFF FOR TEN MORE MINUTES.

Uuuuuuugh fine, fuck everything, I’m putting your head on a pike.

CLAUDE, THE SWORD OF THE CREATOR LOOKS LIKE A SPINE.

OF COURSE IT’S MADE OF BONES. A BUNCH OF THE HEROES’ RELICS MOVE ON THEIR OWN!

The frantic music is not helping.

Time to kill a bandit king.

“My flabber is completely gasted by now.” Okay, that made me laugh.

Nemesis’s boss mechanic is pretty neat. To kill him at all, you need to kill all of the minibosses in the level and take down his friendship-based-plot-armor.

Or it would be, if I didn’t already make a habit of steamrolling everyone else on the field before tackling the boss at the end.

CUTSCENE.

Cutscene lesson: “Fuck honor duels.” It’s time for CHAIN SWORD LIMBO.

Claude, your bow shoots LASERS. SINCE WHEN.

Also getting kicked across the field by a dude twice his size didn’t seem to actually affect his mood much.

Awww, Yuri smiles now. Adorable. :D

AND THAT’S A WRAP.

Pairings: Yuri/Sothis (mostly to get them out of the way and see what everyone else would do), Claude/Petra, Raphael/Marianne, Catherine/Shamir, Lorenz/Mercedes, Ashe/Annette, Felix/Sylvain (bad end; the former straight up disappears), Seteth & Flayn wander off, Manuela/Dorothea, Lysithea/Linhardt (again), Leonie/Ignatz, Ferdinand/Bernadetta, Caspar/Hilda, and a couple of people are alone. Cyril gets to actually be a student after the story’s done, though!

Whew, that was fun. Gonna mix up the pairs a bit next time I play through the endgame and see what happens.

#fire emblem three houses #Lang plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses #Lang Plays #spoilers #long post #fire emblem

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marvelhead17 · 5 years ago

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Miracle (Original Female Character x Cable Fic)

Chapter 13

Summary: “How did you fix it?” he asked. “Ask Ellen the Teenage Warhead,” Wade shrugged as he stood up, “As for baby Hitler he ended up having a diaper change, funny story I was actually going to call Cable since he was so keen on killing Russel, I thought this would be like taking candy from a baby, if that means replacing it with a bullet that is,”

Warnings to cover the whole fic: Graphic depictions of violence, use of weapons, mild to strong language, mentions of rape, mentions of pregnancy and miscarriage, referenced torture and psychological abuse/manipulation, nightmares and night terrors, sexual humour, sexual content.

Word count: 1.7k

One Week Later

“Wade, whatever happened to that kid Russel?” Hayden asked as she took another bite of her breakfast.

“Oh Baldy McWheelchair decided that he could join the school, said it’d be good for the kid to be around other kids and have a more normal life than the purification shithole he was stuck in before, along with the other kids that were with him.”

“Oh good,” she pulled a face, “Wade I’m sorry but your cooking is shit,” she stood up to toss the rest of food in the garbage.

“I’m surprised you even tried it,” Nathan said before taking another mouthful of his omelette.

“Friends support each other’s attempts at things,” she shrugged, “But seriously Wade how the hell did you manage to ruin scrambled eggs and toast this badly?”

“I don’t know! I followed the recipe perfectly! Two eggs, a quarter cup of vodka, salt and pepper-”

“Vodka? You added vodka to the eggs? Wade what the hell!” she gave him a look and then put the dish in the sink.

“I thought you could use a buzz early in the morning and nothing says buzz like the hard Russian stuff,”

“You were hoping to get her drunk weren’t you?” Nathan gave him a look.

“Okay you got me!” Wade held his hands up, “I’ve always wanted to see you drunk, I thought it might loosen you up a little, ya know?”

“What, I’m too serious all the time?” she stopped washing the dish and turned to face him.

“Sometimes, yeah,”

“First of all, I can’t get drunk, I’ve had an entire bottle of the strongest alcohol I could get my hands on and it was ninety-six percent of bitter after-taste.” She stood inches from his face now, “And second of all, screw you,” she hissed before she walked out the room.

The men watched as she left before Nathan turned to look at Wade.

He nodded, “Nice going asshole,”

* * *

“HE’S GOING SUPERNOVA!” Deadpool yelled, with a hint of excitement. He turned to Cable who frowned at him, “I’ve always wanted to say that.”

“Not if I can help it,” Colossus bounded forward into the towering orange flames that were transforming into a shade of blue.

“Colossus wait!” Hayden started after him but a cold hand grasped her shoulder and yanked her back.

“He can handle it Hades,” Cable said as she looked at him incredulously and shook his arm off.

The three waited for Colossus, their anxiety growing by the second, with bated breath.

“BOZHE MOY!” Colossus ran towards them, his skin colour was bright red and his eyes were wide, he turned to glance back at the fire and shook his head, “Is too hot, even for me.”

Cable’s cyborg eye glowed and he looked at his arm, “His temperature is going to eventually reach cosmic levels if we don’t stop him,” he put his arm down and looked back at the others.

“How hot is that? Some of us were high school drop outs,” Deadpool said.

“So hot it’ll actually kill your fucking ass,” Cable said seriously.

Deadpool whistled, “Damn,”

“Out of the frying pan into the fire,” Hades suddenly spoke, they looked at her, puzzlement clear on their faces.

She pushed the sleeves of her shirt up her arm, revealing her glowing violet scars, she blinked and her eyes were bright violet to match, before she ran straight towards the fully blue flames.

“WAIT! Are you crazy?!” Cable tried to run after her but she was engulfed by the flames, the others pulled him back as the flame grew larger, they all winced with their hands covering their eyes from the intense heat despite their distance from the chaos. A male voice boomed in the centre of it all.

“YOU CAN’T STOP ME I’LL-”

Silence.

The flames dissipated to smoke, the ground surrounding was cracked and dry as if it had seen no water in the last thousand years, and there she stood towering over the figure of an unconscious man.

Cable let out a breath of relief until he realised that something was wrong, Hayden appears to have at least triple the scarring on her body than before, he started walking forward thinking that his eyes were playing tricks on him and then stopped in his tracks.

“Best knuckle-sandwich I ever gave,” she beamed at them, her skin dimmed to its usual colour, well as usual as it could be with the black soot that covered it, they all gawked at her.

Colossus cleared his throat and spoke up, “Um- Hades- you’re- uh,” he removed his X-Men’s jacket, leaving his chest bare, and quickly handed it to her while looking the other way. “Take this.”

“I don’t understa- oh my god,” she quickly grabbed the jacket after having a look at herself.

Colossus rubbed the back of his neck and coughed looking away, Deadpool wolf whistled while Cable swallowed hard before shaking his head back to reality.

“Thank you Colossus,” her cheeks went pink.

“It’s official you can’t be my sister anymore, not after I’ve seen you naked because damn,” Deadpool remarked.

She zipped up the huge jacket on her small frame and touched her head in confusion, the hair was singed off but it was already growing back, leaving her with a five o’clock shadow of sorts.

“Also Comrade Titties, I’ve never had more of a hard-on than I do right now, you should do all your missions shirtless. That way you can seduce the bad guys into surrendering,” Deadpool winked at Colossus who coughed uncomfortably. “The way I’ve already surrendered myself,” he commented to an unknown audience.

Hayden walked over to look Deadpool in the masked eyes; “If you say anything else I will castrate you and force feed you your own dick, got it?” she didn’t blink as she said this.

“You think she’s still angry about earlier?” Deadpool asked Cable.

“Gee, what makes you think that moron?” he replied sarcastically, “The fact that you put alcohol in her breakfast, or that you practically called her a kill-joy?”

“Wade you put alcohol in her food? Where did you even find alcohol, we do not supply such things,”

“Exactly why I got a guy on the outside- and wait, Haydes you’re still mad at me for that?”

“Mad? I’m beyond mad,” then she turned to Colossus, “You have the collar right?”

“Da.” He handed her the collar dangling from his pants pocket.

She crouched down next to the unconscious mutant and placed the collar around his neck before activating it, she then lifted him over her shoulder and made her way to the X-jet, they all stared at her in wonderment before she turned around.

“What?” her eyes flashed violet quickly, her hair sprouted further out to reach a boy-cut length.

“Nothing.” They said in unison which made her eyes roll.

“Let’s just get Johnny Storm here on ice and head back home huh?” she sighed and put the mutant into one of the seats and buckled him in.

“Da. This is good idea.” Colossus headed inside the jet and sat himself down into the pilot’s seat and turned the engine on.

“Johnny Storm,” Deadpool snickered, “Nice one.” Hades only glared at him.

Cable and Deadpool took their seats and the group sat in silence for the long trip to the Ice Box. Colossus handed over the criminal mutant to the guards outside while the two men and Hayden remained inside the jet.

She was not particularly in favour of anyone seeing her in what could perceived as her wearing her lover’s clothing, and both Cable and Wade had practically destroyed the place with their little fight over Russel months ago and weren’t keen on finding out what kind of welcome party might be waiting for them if they dared to go in.

* * *

When they had reached the mansion they were greeted by Domino, Ellie and Yukio. They were glad they had returned safely and that the mission was a success, the men walked in first and Hayden walked in last looking extremely displeased, the girls raised their brows in question to her clothing and hair that had already grown to bob length.

“Apparently Target’s clothing isn’t fire resistant and neither is my hair,” she said with a hint of bitterness. “So Colossus was kind enough to give me the shirt off his back, literally,”

“Why didn’t you just ask Colossus to get you a uniform?” Ellie asked.

“A uniform? I’m not part of the X-Men,” she said confused.

“No duh,” Ellie rolled her eyes, “You can still get official X-Force uniforms though,”

“I’m listening,” Wade suddenly popped his head into the conversation.

“You have a uniform Douche,” Ellie said feeling irritated and pushed his face away, “What I’m saying Hades is that you can get a uniform that won’t disintegrate, it won’t tear easily, and it can be whatever you want it to be. Right, Colossus?”

“NTW I’m uncertain Professor Xavier will be very impressed if I used facilities for non X-Men people,” Colossus said nervously.

“Oh come on Colossus, do you want to have to give her your clothes every time hers gets destroyed? It’s very inconvenient and you know it,” she lathered the last bit on sweetly. “It’d be much more efficient to have her own uniform suited to her abilities than to strip in front of Wade,” she added.

“Fine, you have convinced me.” Colossus said as he glanced at Wade who was busy shining the metal man’s body with scented oil. “Wade, enough please.” He gently moved the man away from him. “I will be back once I am appropriately dressed.”

“Aw Colossus, wait!” Wade yelled as Colossus left the room, “You smell great!”

“Nyet, Wade!” Their running footsteps faded away as they went further into the mansion.

“Well I better get dressed too,” Hayden looked at herself before clearing her throat, “Where can we all meet up to start this whole uniform thing?”

“I think we can just meet up in the rec room,” Ellie suggested, Hayden nodded before walking up the stairs; Nathan’s eyes followed her as she walked. The jacket was very wide but not long, leaving her legs exposed to his line of sight.

Ellie cleared her throat loudly making Nathan turn and look at her, “Been a while since you boned someone huh?” she asked with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face.

Yukio elbowed her softly, “That’s not appropriate!”

“But it’s true, isn’t it Cable?” she cocked her head to the side, the smirk growing bigger.

“Teenagers,” Nathan grumbled, rather flustered with his own behaviour himself.

He wouldn’t admit it to Ellie of course but it was true, it had been a very long time since he’d had sex.

________________________________________________________________

>> Chapter 14 <<

#deadpool #deadpool 2 #colossus #piotr rasputin #wade wilson #original character #russell collins #fire fist #nathan summers #cable #marvel #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #hayden jones

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stillunpainted · 6 years ago

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TIME TO GO FERAL

Anyway I’m writing up what Pokemon teams the twewy characters would have with detailed explanations so buckle up this is gonna take a while. I’m only doing Neku and his partners for now but I might do more later!

Neku:

- Ninetales: This is mainly based on that Prog Fox thing (I think that’s what it’s called. Idk what it is but I keep seeing it lol) but I also thought it’d be fitting to give Neku a fire type since the starting pin is pyrokinesis. Ninetales also has some ghostly and psychic themes going on and since Neku is both a ghost and has psychic powers I figured that make sense.

- Crobat: Not only does Crobat have an Edgy design that Neku definitely would like, it also has some thematically fitting elements. Crobat can only evolve due to having maximum friendship, kind of like how Neku only could truly grow after letting people in.

- Linoone: Neku’s main goal was to blend in with the crowd and not be noticed, and Linoone is a pretty average Pokemon being the Hoenn equivalent of Rattata. It also is lightning fast and in some of Neku’s Cutscene Powers he is shown to be quite a quick lad.

- Lucario: I’d say reading people’s aura’s is very similar to reading people’s minds. Lucario is usually depicted as a “lone wolf who eventually realize friends are important” type of character in the anime so it worked a little too well.

- Smeargle: According to the Deep Lore Neku has a ton of imagination so I think he’d be great friends with an artist Pokemon! It’d also fit since he’s so into graffiti.

- Oricorio: Since Neku loves music so much, I’d figure he’d get along great with a dancer Pokemon. He’s always bopping to his own music when he has the chance to, so why not have a dance buddy! Also, given the versatile nature of this Pokemon, it makes sense that a boy who can use a variety of pins in the game would have a Pokemon that uses a variety of different types.

Shiki:

- Banette: It’s only fitting for someone who likes sewing to have a doll Pokemon. Banette also deals with a lot of spite so I think it’d vibe with Shiki while she was dealing with her jealousy. They could both heal together!

- Espurr: Not only is it adorable, it also has psychic powers and does its own thing, kind of like Mr. Mew! It’s also a pretty nervous Pokemon and though Shiki puts on a tough face, she gets flustered and startled easily. They both keep a lot to themselves as well. Though I guess Shiki doesn’t have to deal with immense psychic power coming out of her ears.

- Mimikyu: Do. Do I even have to explain this one. Both Mimikyu and Shiki struggled to be comfortable with themselves. But after realizing that they’re both valid and important in their own ways, they realize they’re more than who they think is better than them. Also I think Shiki would like making costumes for Mimikyu.

- Cinccino: Cinccino cares immensely about its appearance, which Shiki would definitely appreciate! Of course someone who ordered a man take his pants off so she could fix a button would love a Pokemon that puts just as much care in keeping things neat and fashionable. Also it’s adorable.

- Furfrou: Shiki would definitely love styling this dog’s hair. Furfrou is a pretty docile Pokemon, so maybe it'd be a good balance to Shiki’s fiery personality. I think she’d also like to relax with it after a long day at school.

- Silvalley: Silvalley takes it’s mask off once it reaches maximum friendship, much like Shiki was able to realize that her friends would still like her once they knew her true appearance. They also both get stronger after accepting what they are!

Joshua:

- Bastiodon: Joshua definitely has a lot of walls up. Since Bastiodon is pretty much a walking wall, I think he’d definitely like one! I think he’d also enjoy riding it around and teasing people lets be real.

- Rotom: Joshua drops a bunch of objects, many of them electrical appliances. Imagine if Rotom possessed them and helped out! Both of them also are pretty mischievous and tend to be tricksters. They also both seem to be perpetually smiling, except when things are dire. Also Rotom Dex seems to find men attractive at times just saying

- Necrozma: Specifically the fully charged Light form (I can’t remember what it’s called.) I mainly chose this one because it resembles the final boss after Joshua fuses with it, and also they’re both pretty much gods of their respective worlds. Joshua would probably only use this one when he absolutely has to, like when the Taboo noise were causing him and Neku trouble.

- Persian: Mr. Hanekoma probably gave Joshua a Meowth when they first met and eventually he evolved it into Persian! They both tend to act pretty aloof and probably have expensive tastes. Joshua doesn’t use it in battle very often since he doesn’t want it to get hurt.

- Zoroak: Let’s be real, Joshua lies a lot. Since Zoroak is a master of illusions, Joshua would probably find it useful. Joshua hid his true appearance for the entire game, and would never share his true motives, ever. Zoroak mainly uses its illusions to hide its shelter, much like Joshua would rather jump into a garbage dump than be real with people.

- Arcanine: Joshua would need to have at least one parallel with his proxy, wouldn’t he? Arcanine is entered in the Pokedex as the “legendary Pokemon” despite not actually being a legendary Pokemon, and I thought this would be a fun nod to the fact that Joshua is a lot more than he initially appears to be.

Beat:

- Primeape: Beat is pretty hot-headed and unpredictable, so I think it’d get along with Beat perfectly. They’re both pretty reckless in battle, but can dish out a ton of damage because of this.

- Gyrados: People tend to underestimate Beat due to his intelligence. He can be slow to understand jokes and big words sometimes, but that does not hold him back at all. Beat will use whatever tools he has to succeed. The noise form he gave Rhyme even helped him in the fight against Konishi! After being underestimated, nobody ever expected him to pack quite as much of a punch, much like nobody in 1998 thought Magikarp would involve into this fearsome beast.

- Quilava: Quilava was the closest Pokemon I could find compared to noise Rhyme’s design, but also its fire powers would fit his fiery personality! It also can learn Flame Wheel, and I think Beat would find that to be absolutely amazing.

- Exploud: Exploud is a very loud Pokemon, and Beat tends to be quite loud most of the time. They both have a lot of energy and keep people on their toes.

- Salamence: Salamence is known to be a very fearsome Pokemon (especially in competitive Pokemon lol) and soars through the sky at incredible speed! Salamence always believed in its dream of flying, while Beat could never find something to dream about. He probably finds this mighty dragon to be very inspiring.

- Lycanroc (daylight form): Beat believes in working together and is generally just a ray of sunshine, so of course he’d like a Pokemon that’s associated with the sun! They both have distinct senses of right and wrong, and Beat would find it’s appearance to be awesome.

#twewy #the world ends with you #pokemon #neku sakuraba #shiki misaki #daisukenojo bito #Joshua kiryu #neku twewy #shiki twewy #beat twewy #Joshua twewy #this took soooo long

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